Revealing Grace

I have a lot to do. I have a lot to do because it is the end of the quarter and I had a crying baby all day and I am moving tomorrow. I have a lot to do because I have procrastinated and I have gotten lost in the imaginary world of television and because I blog instead of writing papers. And in this moment I will tell you what it is that I really want to do. I would like to disappear. Not in the scary way where I am invisible or someone takes me and we don't know where I went, but in the turn-off-all-the-media-and-inhabit-an-island-for-a-week kind of disappear. I want to turn off my phone and the internet (who controls the internet anyways?) and lose all responsibilities. I want to turn off communication and fly to an island, or Europe, or someplace where there is good food and nice weather. Or even snow. Maybe I will take some of my close friends with me, but you guys have to turn everything off too. We won't talk about school, or work, or the best way to take care of babies.

It is a cold and rainy day in Southern California. My favorite kind of day really, for we mostly just get sunshine and warm breezes. On this chilly day I am at work and baby Orion is seven months old. We really do get along quite well. We both like to laugh, play, and eat really messy. Its a match made in heaven! And as long as we are talking about my sweet chunky baby, I might as well mention that there are four things that I am most definitely working to instill in him during our time together. 1. A love for rain. I take him onto the covered porch and say things like, "We loooove rain. Isn't rain so great?? See the rain??"I think this is most definitely effective brainwashing. 2. A love for Frank Sinatra, Etta James, and the other classics. Really, I think all people should be forced to listen to these wonderful souls. They change lives. I mean it. Just youtube them and then tell me you don't get automatically happier. 3. A love for dancing. Obviously no li

Adventures have blown my way with the Georgia wind! Yesterday my fabulous mother arrived at the Ontario airport for a week-long visit in the land of palm trees, shopping, and weather sent from heaven above. We are planning lots of outings with my friends, being tourists in the city, and some good old fashioned quality time. I think this is going to be a good week. In other adventurous news, I got to meet a fabulous genius the other day. I was slowly lumbering down the hall after a long day at work when my friends ran into me and told me that a certain John Nash was on campus.  John Nash? Is that an actor? No my friends. Better. Much much better. If you have seen A Beautiful Mind, this is the man the movie is based on. He was at Fuller for a seminar on schizophrenia. This was perhaps the highlight of the last five years in my life.Why I  was so exhaustively thrilled was because he is the man behind the Nash equilibrium and game theory. Warning: This is where my nerd radar flies out o

Today, on this February 14th, I am rejoicing in the greatest love I have ever known. He is the only one who knows me better than I know myself. He never ceases to forgive my constant mistakes, He comforts me in my sadness, and walks with me in my pain. He is the one who is my strength, my hope, my satisfaction and my joy. He is the one by which we all know love, the One who created this most joyous and life-changing feeling that every human longs for. It is by His love that I am alive, that I am forgiven, that I am able to love others. It is His love that changes my life and permeates every fiber of my being, and I will forever love Him more than any other. For we love because He first loved us. Happy Valentine's Day :) 

"My heart will sing no other name, Jesus. Jesus, I'm running to your arms. The riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace. Light of the world forever reign." - Forever Reign sung by Kristian Stanfill I think words are amazing. The breadth of the human language is incredible to me. There are all of these amazing words that you can just pick out of the air. Words that describe the exact pinpoint of a feeling, emotion or situation. A word like effervescent or gumption . What about the word propinquity or scintillating ? They are so beautiful, aren't they? They just make me excited! Sometimes it is as if I know there is a word out there, a magnificent word that expresses by exact sentiment, but I just can't put my finger on it. The curse of a limited vocabulary. Sometimes I use a word I did not even realize I knew. Its like someone just gave me a present and when it opens up. . . oh I love it. This is what is amazing to me. God

Praise the Lord my dreams are back! I have spent the last two to three months dreamless. Not dreamless while I sleep mind you. My mind is like a never-ending story that keeps talking to me long after I have stopped listening. The kinds of dreams I lost were the ones you have about the rest of your life. Dreams like, I want to be the ice cream man, or I want to have three baby girls and be a nun. (All dreams I once had in my lifetime. I know. I have lofty goals). You see, 9 months ago I had dreams for my future and then God changed them. Completely. He took me to places I never dreamed of going, where in truth I did not particularly want to go. So I gave up my dreams. I figured, if God was going to change my plans anyway, why have them? Why not just let Him take the reigns completely? News flash to myself: That was dumb. That is not at all what God intended. Here is what happened tonight: Tonight I went to happy hour with my professor and some other students. I broached a subj

What have been your defining moments? Yesterday I was learning about Saint Francis. I'll admit, I wasn't listening to the whole lecture, but I did take away this little tidbit: Before Francis was a saint he was a good guy. He loved God and His creation, but he had a great fear of lepers. I imagine that in the Middle Ages lepers will still just as much outcasts as they were in Jesus' time. It would have been natural to fear the disease that could spread from them. Society probably said to avoid them, but God had not forgotten them. You see, one day God changed things for Francis. As he was going down the street in his normal fashion, he saw a leper begging on the side of the road. He had seen plenty of lepers on the road before, but at this moment something came over him. He stopped. He bent down. He gave the leper some money. And then he embraced the leper and kissed him. As he puts it, what had been sour to him was now sweet. What had been feared was now embraced. B

I started this blog in order to record my adventures. Thus, because of my lack of adventure posting you may think I have settled into the dull and normal life of a seminary student. My dear friends, this is not true! Adventures in Seminary: 1. I discovered a deep love for broccoli. So much goodness in such tiny trees!  2. I stayed up until midnight writing a paper. I did not work ahead. (seriously, don't scoff. This is crazy for me.) 3. I chose to cheer for a certain Super Bowl team NOT because of their jerseys. Woooaaahh. Instead I rooted for the one with the quarterback who was most likely to be nice. Obvs. Manning>Brady. 4. I bought the expensive kind of ice cream...twice. The list goes on and on my friends! Adventures are high here in Southern California. Next week I might even go so far as to cook a real dinner! Aren't you glad you invest in reading this blog??

I welcome myself back to this blog with a rant, dedicated to Nissan and their 100% electric car Leaf. Dear Nissan, You make it seem really great to have car that does not run on gas. Many consumers might think that it will save the world and natural resources, and look super cool to drive (the latter may be true). But let me ask you one question, do you know where electricity comes from? Pick me! I do! I can tell you! Coal-fired power plants. Did you know that coal is the dirtiest of all fossil fuels? Did you know that the more coal we use, the more they will strip mine the Appalachain mountains, literally blowing the tops off of God's creation? So in conclusion, the electric car is really just as bad an idea in regards to natural resources as the gasoline car. So is a smart car really that smart? Sincerely, I Took Environmental Science in College (and I think it made me smart) p.s. My next blog post will be much more spiritual and informative. Forgive me for this