Revealing Grace

I've fallen in love.....with Duck Dynasty. Why have I not watched this before?? Ok, well, that would be because I live on the West Coast and don't have cable, but thankfully my good friend Jess and her lovely parents took me in and introduced me to this gem. I was in love within the first five minutes. First of all, their beards are ridiculously awesome. I'm not a fan of facial hair but I must say that anyone would be impressed with those beauties. Second of all, though they are totally crazy, there is something seriously attractive about a country man. The camo, the gun shooting, the mud and four wheelers...hot. There is a confidence in those men as they take charge, shoot beavers, and come together to pray over a family meal. Call me crazy, but I will just go ahead and say it, something about those guys is genuinely attractive, past the kind-of-gross-but-impressive beards. Therefore, being such a sophisticated and intelligent show, it led me and my delightful friend to...

Mmm the sweet joys of being at home. Annoying my brother on purpose, pretending someone else will clean up my dirty dishes, having someone else cook the food... joy, sweet joy. It makes me want to stay forever...although I know in a week I might be singing a different tune. Isn't that the bittersweet joy of short times with people we love. We leave right before they start to annoy us and so we enjoy (most of) the minutes that we have with them. And I love how Christmas brings everyone home! All my little chickies from over the years at church, and all of my amazing college friends from around Atlanta. It is a great time for relationships, which makes sense because Jesus was all about relationships. So I would say this Christmas season is a grand success. Sure, there are things I wish were different, or people I wish were here, but as always the joy and goodness of my life outweighs the little inconveniences. I can never say that I haven't been blessed, that is for sure. ...

I've been thinking about Christmas a lot lately, which makes sense because we only have a week before Christmas. It sounds cliche, but this is definitely my favorite time of year. I love the traditions and being with family, all of it is so cozy. But this year, I've been thinking about Christmas a little differently. This year Christmas isn't just a happy bubble of cozy for me. I can't stop thinking about the Newtown tragedy and all the other tragedies that happen everyday, all over the world. And I have been thinking constantly about my close friend Kyle who is spending this Christmas in Afghanistan, in the midst of war and death, far from those he loves. I think about the homeless and the woman I met at church who lives in the shelter. I think about the kids in the world who will go to bed hungry, or who will die from preventable illnesses. I don't mean to be a downer, but I don't think that I can just pretend all of this isn't happening as I celebrate on...

Tonight I am so very sad. I sit here feeling as if my heart has been ripped out. I am angry, frustrated, and above all completely full of sorrow. I didn’t even hear about all of this until a few hours ago. I don’t have internet in my apartment and I was at work today, so when I went to a Christmas party for some people at church I hadn’t heard about the tragedy. And I don’t know the families involved in today’s shooting, but now that I know what happened my heart just feels so heavy. To kill anyone is atrocious. To kill children is a terrible terrible sin. I just keep thinking of the moms who sent their little ones to school and who are now going to bed in the midst of the worst tragedy they could imagine. It makes me just want to scream. I want to scream, “God why didn’t you stop this!?” “God, why won’t you just return and end this, end this sin and this terrible world!?”  And as I cry for the families I do not know, I see a picture of God in my mind, the kind He gives me i...

Tonight as I left work and walked into the dark a cold drop of water fell on my nose. The air itself was chilly (for California at least) and though I was only wearing a light jacket (and no socks), I let myself believe that it was snow. It made sense for it to be snow, even though I knew that was impossible, because I was looking at Christmas lights and I was scrunched up against a chilly wind. Believing that there were tiny flakes falling all around made me feel like the holidays were real and the feeling of Christmas was in the air.  Christmas break for me means that school is over (for now), I’m officially moved into my third apartment in less than two years, and most of my to-do list is crossed off. I will admit that the new apartment is adorable and feels like my own tiny home, but it also makes me want to be like a tv commercial. Feeling independent I want to go home to Georgia with my arms full of perfectly wrapped and thoughtful presents, wearing an adorably sophist...

Well, my finals are finished. Its been a crazy week of unwashed clothes, strange meals, and people on campus looking seriously haggard, but all I have left is one quick revision and a trip to slip my (hopefully well-written) paper under my professor's office door. It has definitely been the most stressful, crazy finals week of my life and I don't say that lightly. Never have I worked so hard and so long on anything, in fact I don't even want to count the hours I spent on this paper! It has to be in the hundreds! Honestly the reason I worked so hard was because I want my professor to be proud of me and proud of my work. My professor is one of the most gracious and kind grandpa-sort of men and his class was such a joy.  (This was the class where I was the only girl, asserting my awesomeness and knowledge in a class of boys, half of whom are getting their doctorates in church history.) In truth, I am really going to miss this seminar. Ok, I am not going to miss the insane wor...

I'm stuck in the middle of a stressed-out, overly tired, pity party this week. The amount of quality research and pages I have to churn out in the next few days combined with moving apartments next friday, the life changes of all my friends, and a general desire to just pity myself in sweatpants instead of acting like a grown-up have all combined to make me a mess of a human being. So prayers are appreciated, that I will survive the next five days without a breakdown and that I will remember to eat meals while spending endless hours in the life-sucking quiet of the library. And maybe, at the other end of this ridiculous week, I will present you with some positive insightful reflections. But not now. Now there is no time for that. Duty calls and I must put on my academic thinking cap and search for the light at the end of this disastrous finals week tunnel.