Revealing Grace

Life is good. Today I am taking some of our kids to the fair down on the reservation. It is the one really big event for our tribe and the kids even have the day off of school. I am definitely going to be trying some blue corn mush and some acorn stew. I am also looking to avoid riding any swirly rides after I eat said things. Also I learned jiu jitsu yesterday. And I bought a tent. So I am basically becoming hardcore. After a lifetime of "I don't work out" and "I don't camp" I have officially unleashed the beast and am loving both of those things. It feels good to feel strong and to use my muscles for what they were made for. It is quite empowering. Plus I learned how to take my roommate down yesterday, so if she doesn't do the dishes I can just beat her up. Important stuff. In other news, last weekend I took a spontaneous road trip with a few friends to the great state of Californ-i-a. The conversation was basically, "Man, we should g...

Lately I have had a string of anxious dreams. Each night I go to bed hoping for peace. Each night I toss and turn as another scenario plays out, a scenario in which bad things are happening and I have no control. I wake up weary. I wake up frustrated. And I seek to understand why I have so much unfelt anxiety. Is it the world that is getting to me? So many bad things happening at once. So many people hurting, dying, in pain, and so much injustice that I can do nothing about. I can only allow myself so much access to the news. It breaks me. Perhaps it is the addition of our new programming at the youth center. It could not be going better, but the enemy loves to sneak in fears of failure. The enemy tells me that we are losing kids, that we aren't doing our job, that we are going to fail these kids that need so much. But I know that it is not true. I know that my prayers for this world are powerful. I know that there is life in the 5 students that have been committed to what ...

When we started our new programming on Monday I was a little apprehensive. About 50 kids walked out of the Kennel, leaving us with 9 interested in sticking around. As I watched 50 kids wander outside our gates I wondered, are we doing the right thing? On Tuesday the answer became clear.  Again 50 students left. 8 remained. We hopped in the van and headed up for a field trip. The trip was to learn about animals and veterinary things. After a quick tour of the veterinary clinic we headed out to farm along a very very muddy road. Let’s just say I tried my hand at mud-bogging and had to hand over the wheel.  When we got to the farm it was awesome . There were all these animals our students had never encountered before. A llama, alpacas, a miniature horse, pigs, and dwarf goats. The kids lit up as they got to pet the animals and learn about them more. I mean come on, who doesn’t want to take a llama for a run on a Tuesday afternoon?  It was so apparent to ...

“Why do you need to be spending time with God every day?” “Because my job is really draining.” “No,” he replied.  Crap, I got the wrong answer in front of the pastor, I thought.  “You need to be spending time with Him because He is your daddy. You need to be spending time with Him because He is your breakfast, your water, your sustenance. If we are only spending time with Him because of our profession, then we have it all wrong. We need to be spending time with Him because He is life.” Oh yea. Mind. Blown. “So you are starting tomorrow, right?” “Oh, uhhh, yea!” It was a conversation that changed the entire trajectory of my year. It had been a long summer and most of my encounters with our pastor had included some tears, mostly from exhaustion. But what Pastor Ernie made me realize was that my exhaustion, my inability to cope, came not just from the overwhelming nature of our overbooked summer schedule. It came because I was trying to serve a G...

It was the first time in a long time that I had felt it. It was the all-encompassing, overwhelming understanding of what Jesus had actually done for me. It was the incredible energy and gratefulness for what my life was, fully knowing that my whole life , every minute part of it, was al l because of the goodness of God. It was overpowering. It was beautiful. It was the greatest peace and joy I have ever known.  Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe, sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.  Such common words but my goodness the way they seeped into my soul! I could feel it so deeply. It wasn’t the all-too-common head knowledge that Jesus washed me white as snow. It was the song of my spirit, crying out to God in utter thankfulness. It has been so long since I have truly comprehended the magnitude of God, His goodness, His presence in my life. Perhaps 10 years have passed, of ups and downs and a struggle to regain the faith of my youth. And the past ...

You can feel it in the air. I know it is cliche, but it is so true. There is an energy surrounding us, our conversations, our anticipation.  It is like that night before the first day of school feeling on steroids. I can barely contain myself.  God has been crazy good over this past year. Our team has gelled crazy well. The support and love we have for one another is something we never could have dreamed of (believe me, this time last year we all were a little, let's say. . . independent). And He has been shaping this plan, this dream in us for the last so many months, and finally the time for it to come to fruition is here. Tomorrow we begin a crazy, risky, all for His glory new plan for our youth center. And it is awesome.  And the energy for it is ridiculous! Because here are the facts: we are exhausted. Already. With a team in this week we haven't had a good day of rest in a while. So we are starting the school year out completely beat. But we are also sta...