Revealing Grace

When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to watch the Titanic movie.  It wasn't because of the love story or the painting scene, it was because my mom knew that after watching it I would have cried for days. As a child I could never get over the fact that they didn't put more people in those lifeboats, and even 75+ years after it happened I still felt the pain as if it had just occurred yesterday and those people on the ship were my family. It was the same thing with the Holocaust museum, the evening news, and movies without happy endings. As a child all the way into being an adult, I felt the pain of others' sorrow with my entire being. I was sheltered because the depth of the sadness would have overwhelmed my tiny soul and I simply could not handle it. As an adult I am able to handle things much better, but I suppose old habits die hard because the other day this happened: It was just a normal night at the Agan household and I was watching a tv show called The 100 ...

As a kid I always loved when my mom made homemade chocolate chip cookies. I have distinct memories of rushing to the kitchen, the warm cookies sitting on wax paper, my mom by the oven as we scooped up as many as we could handle (or were allowed). By the end of the night you had eaten at least nine, but only admitted to five, and the whole house was happy. I think a lot about what I have brought with me from that childhood home, what traits and examples I have grown into. Marriage brings to light a lot of the flaws and beauties that we learned through life and family, and it can certainly be both joyous and annoying. Cameron and I grew up so differently and we fight into and against all that we learned before we met each other. We strive to be the best versions of ourselves, and so much of what we know we have brought with us from our youth. As I reflect on my own childhood I am moved toward thinking of my girls, the sweet teenage girls who are having children of their own this sea...