Revealing Grace

We all know my life isn’t quite what one would call conventional .  People often ask what a “typical” day looks like for me and I must admit, it is almost hard to describe. Each day brings new challenges, unpredictable conversations, and some sort of unexpected adventure. Each week can be like the top of the roller coaster before the hill. . . the anticipation is a mix of both excitement and uncertainty. But the days are slowly becoming more uniform and the relationships with our students more steady. And as I have always said since moving here, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else nor do I desire any different job or life. No, I could not have predicted this, but I would not change it even given the chance. I love this unconventional life.  This past week the unexpected adventure I was thrown for a loop with was a nasty cold. My voice started to fluctuate between Minnie Mouse and a raspy young man, and though I was pretty miserable I loved that the students respo...

2014 was, I suppose, the year of  making Meredith outdoorsy . In the beginning I was an embarrassing novice, climbing over rocks like I was 185-years old and only operating on half of a lung. In the end I was leading hiking excursions (though admittedly still rather slowly), camping in my very own tent, and sporting a plethora of spandex hiking pants. Being "outdoorsy" is now one of my favorite parts of living in this middle-of-somewhere Arizona town, so I think it is safe to say that we accomplished that goal. Way to go guys.   So, it is 2015, and a new goal must be made. I've thought about it long and hard, considered becoming the next best youtube sensation, inspiring people with my fantastic dance moves, and being less weird, but all of those fell to the wayside when this one came to mind:  2015: The Year of Meredith's Independence.  I am sure you are thinking, "but Meredith, you ARE independent! What are you talking about??"  Ah yes, I know. I ...

A few months ago I was walking around the streets of Baltimore with a dear friend. . . hopelessly lost. In the midst of the joy of being together on an adventure we had utterly forgotten where the car was parked. As the miles and hours passed (oh yes, we were lost for that long) we began to get frazzled and a little frustrated with our inability to be where we "needed" to be. As we sat in a little coffee shop, windblown and tired, I decided that if we were going to be lost we might as well enjoy it! There was a sort of beauty in being lost and lost with a friend. So I pushed aside the growing frustration and decided to let the unexpected beauty fill my sight. As we continued walking we ran into churches, gardens, and museums that we would never have seen if we had taken the "easy" path. It was a longer journey for sure, but it would be a memory for a lifetime.  What had started out as a frustrating misadventure was now a whole new beautiful adventure.  2014...

I don't remember what we were talking about when I responded to two of our students, "My love is not dependent on your actions." "So if I came to the Kennel all high and jacked up, would you still love me?" one of them asked. "No!" said the other kid, "She would kick you out!" I gave that kid a look. To the other one I responded, "Well, I would be disappointed and a little sad, but I would still love you." They thought for a second and then said with sincerity and interest,  "then what is  your love dependent on?"  I think that in the moment I replied, "Jesus, I guess." Which isn't a very good explanation, but hey, I don't work well under pressure! In fact, their question kind of caught me off guard. I had to think about it for a while. What, if not what they do or say, does my love depend on? Do I love them less when they disappoint me? The answer, of course, is no. In fact, I am perhaps ...

We should have known when we were scrapping inches of snow and ice off the truck at 6:30am that the day wasn't going to go as planned. Just 12 hours earlier there had been 5 people planning to go to Phoenix for a furniture-retrieving, sunshine-loving adventure. At 6:25am the last person backed-out and it was down to two. As much as I adore winter, I have to admit that I'm not quite used to it yet. So I hadn't received the common-sense memo that ice+snow+nightfall will equal a lot of work before you can drive away. So my faithful friend and I took to the windows with a tiny ice scraper and our sleeves to make the windshield less of a Christmas wonderland. It wasn't the last time that we would be unprepared that day.  After enough of the windshield was cleared we drove away in the snow, ice, and dark to Phoenix, land of eternal sunshine and free furniture.  About an hour into the 3 hour drive, coffee in hand and a strong will to not fall asleep we encountere...

I'm going to admit something here, straight out into the crazy world of internet readers. Are you ready for it? Ok. . . I've been stressed.  Whew! Got that out there. I feel better now. I've always had these idealistic views about how stress serves no purpose and reveals a distrust in God's provision (which is true). So I claimed an easy-going attitude and a yippidee-do-da nature and walked through life at ease, right? Well, despite these good intentions a new sneaky stress started to manifest itself in the tightness of my chest and the sleep that seemed to constantly evade me for about a month or two. As much as I wished I could get rid of it, no amount of forced positivity could change the manifestation of the stress in my life. I couldn't figure out why this was happening until a co-worker pointed out with such nonchalance, "well yea you are stressed, you have a new job you are trying to figure out." Oh yea, that thing. The new job. The new...

I’ve lived my whole life being called “Mom Meredith.” It probably started when I was three and my brother was born. From the moment I held that little baby I decided I was in charge of taking care of everyone. I used to play a game with him in the bathtub where I was the mom and he was my “baby boy hippo.” I never said I was normal.  Through the years the “mom” nature never left. In college my friends in the dorm started calling me mom, much to my own mother’s dismay. I reassured her that it was an endearing term and people meant it out of love, whether that was actually true or not. I just cared for people a lot. And I liked rules. So I thought other people should too.  It was this innate tendency that I couldn’t rid myself of, even if I had wanted to. I was always the nurturer, the bossy one, the rule enforcer, the listener, and the let’s-eat-chocolate-to-make-it-all-better kind of friend.  It was at 25 where I realized that all my practice (whether ...