Revealing Grace

The day after Christmas was a beautiful one. The snow covered the ground and we decided to go out and play. We drove up to the mountains in the Jeep with our pups and frolicked around in over a foot of snow, taking pictures and feeling the joy that is a white Christmas season. But Cameron. . . oh Cameron. He was high on winter and his newfound camera skills. He took a few good pictures and bam! he thought he could do anything. So after a while of frolicking he decided that we were going to drive deeper toward the mountain, even as the snow got thicker and thicker. "I don't think we should go any farther," I said politely. "We have already gotten stuck once, let's just stay where we are at."  But Cameron did not listen to his wife. Cameron, like the little engine that could, kept driving forward. The tracks ended and you could see that the snow ahead was at least a foot and a half deep, and yet Cameron pressed on the gas until. . . thwump. Vroof. Vroof...

Do you have dogs? Dogs are great for the cuddly, happy to see you part but they totally suck when it comes to Christmas at my house. In my theory, dogs are like toddlers that you can leave outside all day without checking on them. Inside the house though, leave them for a second and bam! Things are broken. In this case, my dogs decided they hate Christmas. Last year Bean was a puppy and ate all of the Christmas lights. Seriously she cut them all off by the outlet and chewed them up, lightbulbs and all. I have no idea how she is still alive. This year, their first attack came in the middle of the night. While Cameron and I were happily sleeping and sugar plum fairies were dancing over our heads, our dogs were gleefully ripping up my Christmas presents. Not Cameron's presents, just mine. With a start and a dash Cameron ran out to save my presents from their claws. Thankfully they were only interested in the wrapping paper, but man was I mad. Fast forward a week and we have p...

This past summer Cameron and I hiked to the highest peak in Arizona- over 12,000 feet high. Times that by three and that is a plane's cruising altitude. Kind of crazy. I know what you are thinking right now. You are thinking, "Wow. Meredith is so hardcore and awesome. What a beast." I appreciate those thoughts. I wish they were true. The truth is that I kind of lost it on this hike. I can blame the altitude, the distance, the lack of water, or anything else, but the truth is, I lost the mental game of hiking. Disclaimer: My natural tendency is to quit when things get hard. This has always been my trend, and it is something I am having to work so hard  to overcome. Hiking helps I suppose because even though I tell Cameron to just leave me at the top of the mountain and call a helicopter, he isn't going to do it. It isn't in the budget. ;) This was before we almost killed each other:)  All started well of course, and going up the mountain wasn't so...

You know that scene in The Notebook where Rachel McAdams says to her man, "I don't paint anymore" (Southern accents only please). Maybe it is a silly reference but in the movie you can tell that her lack of painting represents that she lost something in herself as her life progressed. Well, the other day I realized, "I don't write anymore." I know what happened, but I didn't realize how significant it was. You see, this past year has been a struggle. I fought tooth and nail with situational depression and anxiety for the first six months of the year as I stepped into a life with boundaries and had to come face-to-face with the impact of the trauma I had witnessed over the last few years. I don't believe that makes me weak, that the sadness of the reservation shattered me so. I believe it points to the spiritual warfare present there. In truth, working on the reservation shattered my faith as well, though not beyond repair. I have had to wres...

It is an unsettling sensation to be packing your car, realizing anything that you leave behind could be destroyed.  I had seen the billows of smoke earlier in the day, and recognized that it seemed closer than normal, but I hadn't put much more thought into it. Then around 3:30pm on Wednesday, Cameron called me from work to let me know that I needed to prepare for a potential evacuation. The fire was only 10 miles from town. At this point I basically panicked because I had no idea what this really meant. I had no idea if an evacuation was coming within the next hour or the next few days, so I frantically started packing. You don't realize how much stuff you have until you are about to potentially lose it all.  I threw a bunch of clothes in a suitcase (mostly our hiking clothes for some reason) and started pacing in random directions looking for things we couldn't replace.  Obviously I grabbed the plastic lobster that I have had since our family vacation ...

Last night I had my very  first-of-all-time  softball game. That's right. I am a bonafide member of an actual sports team where I wear a legit jersey and own a glove and do sportsy things like run and put forth effort. I know, I know, those of you who know me well are probably both surprised and a little bit worried. I've never been the athletic one in the family, but by golly I am 27 years old and determined to be a valuable member of this team! So after a lot of practicing with my imaginary bat I was ready to not fail at this new athletic endeavor.  I had been to two practices, done my batting practice, and 10 minutes before the game started I had finally asked someone how you catch a ball with the beautifully brand-new and un-used softball glove on my right hand. And then my moment came. I was up to bat. I had anticipated this moment for days. Elbow up, knees bent, eye on the ball (whatever that means), swing straight and swing hard, DON'T MISS. I bet I look p...

I was talking to a friend of mine at the church picnic this past weekend when we looks at me and says out of the blue, "You know, I love your husband." Said husband was at that time on a little walk around the park with another guy we know and I immediately agreed with a whole-hearted, "Well, thank you! I do too! I am so glad to hear that!" As we continued to talk I could see that this guy had a deep respect for Cameron, as well as a joy for when he is around (I don't tell Cameron to his face so he won't get cocky, but he always makes all of us laugh. He is simply a fun guy to be around). It really seemed to be a continuation of a theme that had been appearing a lot recently. I had noticed it when I went to softball practice the other day too (that's right, I joined the church softball team. I'm a boss.) Everyone happily greeted me and almost immediately said, "Where is Cameron?" People like to be around the guy, and that makes me happy...