Revealing Grace

What a year, what a year. I never would have believed you if you had tried to tell me all that would occur in these 12 months. Let's take a look back, shall we? January 2011: I began my last semester at Georgia College with two snow days! We filled these days with sledding, cocoa, friends, and homemade music videos. February 2011: My good friend Matt and I ran as the Ambassador team representatives for Mr. and Ms. Georgia College. Though I had absolutely no chance at winning we had a really good time representing a fantastic part of the university. March 2011: A busy month! I visited my brother for a rainy weekend in Birmingham, my roommate from Spain came to visit me at Georgia College, I inducted my mentor into ODK, and I visited my homeland, Richmond, Virginia.  April 2011: In April I turned 22 with some fabulous friends. We celebrated with a huge ice cream/dance party in our little apartment. We also found Feathers in the hood of my roommate Ansley's car. Oh ...

"Stories have changed, my dear boy," the man in the grey suit says, his voice almost imperceptibly sad.  "There are no more battles between good and evil, no monsters to slay, no maidens in need of rescue.  Most maidens are perfectly capable of rescuing themselves in my experience, at least the ones worth something, in any case." - The Night Circus, page 373

It is a quiet day in Pasadena. The kind I relish in for I know that in a few short days the streets will be bustling with activity as we begin our new quarter. Though I have used half a box of tissues and my ears seem incapable of hearing clearly, the day is still very close to perfect. The weather is the kind of dreams, where the temperature is just right and the air smells fresh and perfect. It is the smell of the air and the light sweater temperature that brings back memories of all the great days like this in my past. It is the kind of day where one can curl up and read of a mysterious night circus and dueling magicians falling in love. The kind of day where hours can pass, hours of contentment wrapped in a big chair and an open window, and yet no time seems to pass at all. For in a few days I will be back to the busy hours of schoolwork, class, and being a nanny, but for now, for these hours, I will relinquish all stress and obligations. For these hours I will be engulfed in the b...

There are few points in my life where I admit to being wrong, or mistaken. I don't like to admit my faults because, let's face it, I would prefer perfection. But after this Christmas I have to admit that I was mistaken in my post I wrote a few days ago. I wrote that I did not see the correlation between the arrival of Jesus and a bunch of presents under the tree. But this Christmas proved me wrong. You see, there was so much joy in opening presents at my house this year. The gifts represented time, thought, and resources that someone expended for me . As I received my gifts I truly felt loved that someone had put that much effort into finding things I would enjoy. And it hit me. I had been wrong about presents. Not because I realized how much I love presents, but because I realized these presents were about love. And the love I felt from receiving these gifts was just an infinitesimally small fraction of the love I will feel when I finally grasp the magnitude of the gift ...

After he had said this, he went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem. When he had come near Bethphage and Bethany, at the place called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of the disciples, saying, “Go into the village ahead of you, and as you enter it you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it.’”  So those who were sent departed and found it as he had told them.  As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?”  They said, “The Lord needs it.” Then they brought it to Jesus;  and after throwing their cloaks on the colt, they set Jesus on it.  As he rode along, people kept spreading their cloaks on the road.  As he was now approaching the path down from the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the deeds of power t...

Oh Christmas season! A week back in the dysfunctional family atmosphere that accompanies the great celebration of Christmas. On the topic of dysfunction, let me let you in on a secret... sometimes I think the world revolves around me. I know. I know! I went to the planetarium in Hollywood so I do know for a fact the universe does not actually revolve around me...but I like to forget that sometimes. So I guess in turn....Christmas is not about me. (A hard pill to swallow!) I know most of you who read this blog believe that "Jesus is the reason for the season!" But I would be willing to bet (ok, maybe not bet, I don't think God approves of gambling...) that we have kind of lost this in the traditions of modern Christmas. We all love Christmas because it is a time to be with family, to eat great food, and to take a break from our busy work days. We love to give and receive gifts (although I don't think materialism and the Gospel go hand in hand), and all of these t...

To my dearest chickies, Whether you are seven, fourteen, or twenty, I implore you to hear me out. Though I may only be a little bit older I have some wisdom to offer. For I have been where you have been. I have felt what you have felt, and I want to tell you what I wish I would have known. When the world seems to be ending, I promise you it isn't. Though your heart may hurt or your parents may be mad, the world goes on and those big problems become small. I promise that in years you will have forgotten those things you spent so many hours upset or worried about. So leave them where they are and forget about them. Instead of wasting time, embrace it. Acknowledge the worry or stress but don't let it overtake you. Live each moment. Enjoy the people you are with when you are with them. Don't let anything get you down, for our lives our precious. You are precious. You have been created and formed by the Almighty God and you are beautiful. Did you hear that? You are beaut...

I have officially been inducted into Los Angeles life. I have met a star. This afternoon some friends and I made the trek into LA/Hollywood to do some sight seeing. First stop, The Griffith Observatory. We saw the famous Hollywood sign, the whole city in lights, and of course, we learned about some stars. (The real kind, that is). We had our own personal guide- an astrophysicist and engineer, a.k.a. my overqualified TA for my missions class. It was great to learn about the amazing universe our God created. And then.... We met the other kind of star. We headed from there to The Grove which is a swanky outdoor mall in LA. Really we went because they had fake snow bubbles and it was the only chance to see snow at Christmas here, but we got a lot more bang for our buck. I was on the lookout for celebrities because I heard they sometimes shop here, but for the majority of the evening there was no such luck. We ate at the Farmer's Market (I had tortilla española and almost died o...

Ahhh Trader Joe's. A Christmas treat paradise. This afternoon I made the short drive to Christmas joy with my windows down, blaring Christmas music as a sweet 75 degree breeze flew through my car. The sun was shining, I was wearing leggings as pants (more on that later), and I realized, I might love Christmas in Southern California.  I don't know if it is ironic, a paradox, a juxtaposition or just plain crazy, but a Christmas that feels like Easter is really awesome.  In other news, I have found a new love in Los Angeles.  Some may think of LA and think of smog, overcrowding, or traffic, but not me. Oh no. I think of two sweet words. . . sample sale . Yes my friends I have discovered the gem of LA! Sample sales! A sample sale is a wonderful world where designer clothes are sold for really cheap. My good friend Jess introduced me, and being a good Carpenter (I get my bargain hunting skills from my dad) I find a thrill in getting the best bargain possible. So today's bar...

And with that my friends it is finished! Around 45 pages later, after a plethora of in depth research, and a lot of hours, I have finished all THREE of my research papers due for finals week.  I am officially FINISHED with my first quarter of seminary. Can I get a whoop! whoop! Now to three weeks of bliss. No schoolwork, no classes. Just me, the Christmas spirit, and free time. Get ready Georgia because I am coming for YOU! 

To my dear faithful blog readers (all 1 million  six of you), I know it has been a hard week. You check every day and you think, "Why hasn't dear Meredith posted about her oh so interesting life?" You missed the thrill, the adventure, the suspense that is my daily doing. I bet it was hard to even go to work. You moped around, sad, maybe a little lost. Well feel lost no longer! I am back! Since the Santa Ana winds blew in last week things have been crazy (in an awesome way). Check out  this video  to see the damage done to Pasadena. Those winds were nuts! The winds also blew in my sweet friend Amanda. Being a flight attendant she is the only friend who can afford to visit me....because its free. It was an amazing weekend, the best yet. Of course Amanda fit in so well with my new friends here (because lets face it, I only make awesome friends. So awesome+awesome=super awesome) and we saw the city, bought clothes at a sample sale, and of course ate at In-and-Out bur...

*I would like to thank the movie The Holiday for being the only reason I knew what the Santa Ana winds were. I honor you with this post.* As I lay here in my bed, in my matchbox apartment, the Santa Ana winds rage outside my window. The sound is like thunder and the trees are swaying very precariously. Sirens continue to wail through the streets and the streets themselves are completely littered with debris. These are the most powerful winds I have ever experienced. Part of me wants to go outside and get lost in the winds, to feel the strong breeze whip across my whole self, but of course I know that would be dangerous, so I don't. These winds just seem like they can make you feel alive, like you are a part of something bigger. They are majestic in their ferocious power and to me, they are amazing. But as I lay here in my bed, in my matchbox apartment, I know that there are hundreds in the Los Angeles area that are homeless and have no shelter from the winds. As I admire the wi...

1. Twice in one week I almost went out grocery shopping in my slippers. I was halfway down the hall when I realized my feet were still wrapped in fuzzy goodness. What kind of things will I be wearing out when I am old?? 2. I may not have a lot of skills, but making conversation with cashiers is definitely one of them. If I ever meet a good one maybe I can finagle myself a date...or something for free? Coupons would be good too. 3. I had a dream the other night where I was told that God wanted me to work with the Native Americans. I would take this as a sign except that later the same night I had a dream and someone else told me to be a model. Missionary or model? Hmmm, tough choice. 4. One of the great dilemmas of my week was that I did not make it to the Farmer's Market and thus had to buy produce from Trader Joes. I was very distraught because none of their produce was local, in fact most of it came from Mexico. Then I realized that I now live in SoCal so Mexico is practica...

The Psalms speak to my soul. This is the one place in the Bible where we can see the folly of man. We can stand beside the writer and feel his pain, his anguish, and his desires. We feel those feelings! We think those thoughts! The Psalms, they seem to speak from my own soul.  Last night I came across Psalm 73. Every now and again I read a Psalm that I feel I could have written. This was such a Psalm.  *A side note is that I recently purchased a NRSV translated Bible and I love it. I recommend it for anyone, especially if you grew up on the NIV like I did. It is a refreshing read of the Scriptures. * The Psalm begins with these words: "Truly God is good to the upright,  to those who are pure in heart.  But as for me, my feet had almost  stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped." How true this is of my heart! Surely God is good to those who are pure it heart, but oh how my feet have almost stumbled! How easy it is to get entangled. How easy it is to becom...

I really think that the world would be a better place if we all just sang what we were thinking instead of speaking it. Everything sounds better when accompanied with a tune, don't you think? Maybe it is just me, but it is something to think about. I am also realizing the similarities between my life and the life of fictional character Bridget Jones (minus all the smoking, drinking and promiscuity...so really only the being single part). As I live alone as a single twenty-something I have started picking up all these weird single person habits. It might look a little like THIS to an outsider. (Again, without the smoking and drinking habits. Don't worry, I am in seminary. I'm not that far gone.) To be honest I never expected to be "the single one" of my friends. Granted I am still in my early twenties so I have plenty of time to find a man, but we live in America and in America everyone pairs off early. I started noticing this new label in my life about a year ...

Missing you guys this Thanksgiving. I can't believe that this is my first Thanksgiving without my family. I guess this is all part of growing up. It makes me thankful to be able to come home for Christmas, that is for sure.  

So tonight I was in my cohort (a small group of students I meet with each week and share in life with) and we were asked to share what we are thankful for. This is a typical Thanksgiving question that I always love, and when it came to me I shared what first came to mind, and I actually got quite emotional. Now I thought this was very weird. Who gets teary-eyed when saying what they are thankful for?? But I realized that what I was saying must mean a lot more to me than I had thought. I did not realize its importance until I shared with my group and my heart exploded in front of them, overcome with how thankful I truly was. So here goes my Thanksgiving post, as I wanted to share it with whoever reads this little bloggity-blog. This is what I told them I was thankful for: I am so thankful for my friends and community back home. It was hard to move out to Pasadena and leave my community, especially because a lot of you are still at Georgia College. But you all have been so supportive...

It is the little things in life that make it grand. It is buying new tupperware and listening to Christmas music. It is getting excited that at Target they make a handle for your toilet paper. It is eating teeny tiny cartons of ice cream while wrapping up your hair in socks. Its the gifts you buy for people and finding someone who also sings instead of talking while shopping. Its shopping with this friend after a long day at work. It is an apartment and a hot shower and the ability to walk down the hall and borrow an egg. Its a baby that takes long naps and a Skype call with your whole family in the living room. It is being 22 and crouched under a chair in a blanket fort, shooting at an invisible enemy with a light saber. It is indeed the little things that make life grand.

I've kept a prayer journal throughout the years. I don't keep up with it every day, or even every month, but sometimes I pull it out and pour my heart out to God. Inevitably it is in the joys and the sorrows that I write to my Father. And inevitably I begin to flip through the early pages of my journal. I turn to this date last year or the year before and read my conversation with God, reliving the moments and emotions of which I wrote. Something always strikes me when I flip through these prayers: I am definitely a C student at this whole being a daughter of God thing. The trusting, the listening, the waiting patiently, I am bad at all of it. It seems that no matter how many times God tells me something I inevitably have forgotten it by the following year. Think of how frustrating that must be! Over and over and over again God has to teach me the same lessons. And I still don't get it. But what a patient God He is. I never feel like He is mad at me. He never just drops H...

Christmas is coming up soon! Yes, yes, I know Thanksgiving comes first but admit it, we have all already begun thinking about Christmas. Today I was talking to my dad about this very holiday and we were discussing the fact that really there is nothing that we need for Christmas this year. Everyone in my family has more than enough clothes and shoes. We have cameras, TVs, and we each have a GPS. Really, we want for nothing. Even though this is true, living in Pasadena I sometimes get caught up in the consumerism. Literally anything I could want is just a few blocks away. That sweater at Target looks totally necessary, and I love that scarf at GAP. I need a new pair of boots, right? Right? Don't I have five pairs of boots already. Wait, five? Dang it. So what makes me think I need more? I am almost embarrassed to write this post. I feel bad because I have a lot of stuff and yet sometimes I want more. But I need to face the facts. There are plenty of people this Christmas that a...

History is a funny thing. Naturally, it is in the past, but I don't think it stays there. What has happened in history, especially in the history of America, still has great and dire consequences. One of these instances is the Native American tribes. Our history in regards to these communities is devastating. The loss of life, the displacement of nations, the atrocities against them. Reading what was done to these Native people is heartbreaking, but usually we stop there. We feel bad but we realize we can't do anything to change it so we move on. But this is not true.  Native American communities all over the US are still facing extreme hardship because of the past. Drug and alcohol addiction is rampant, as is physical and sexual abuse. Some of these communities, like the Navajo, are facing extreme poverty. Others have physical possessions but have a depth of spiritual need that we cannot imagine. There is hopelessness on these reservations. Just as ages ago, when these peopl...

The past few weeks have been spent with this goodie: If you have not read this trilogy I highly recommend that you stop whatever you are doing and go get this book. The author writes this thrilling story in a way that reminds me of 1984 or Brave New World. The characters have a lot of depth and it is seriously one of the best books I have read in a long time. It may go on my list of favorite books ever. So what are you waiting for?? Go start reading! 

Mid-week post just to say I don't have time to post. But I have been doing some awesome things in my  time when I am distracting myself from studying , ahem, free time, so you can all look forward to some great pictures coming up probably on Friday. May God's grace and mercy abound in your life today as you seek to know Him more and spread His love! 

There are things I cannot express to you in words. It is so much bigger than mere words, this thing that I am feeling. Its called joy.  Joy. mmm, joy.   More than happiness, so much more. You know how I know that this is different? Because my life isn't peachy. Not every day is a good day. I have bad days and moments. I am sad and sometimes I am homesick. I'm grumpy! But this thing, this joy, it pervades all of this. Its bigger than just being happy.  Joy.  It comes from God. My loving Savior. It comes from my walks with Him through the garden. It comes from my family. It comes from my bigger family! In Virginia, Georgia, California, Spain, India, my family that loves me! It overcomes sadness and hardship and frustration. It is this feeling that even in the midst of the lows, that everything will be fine. This reassurance in my soul that I have no need for worry. My life is bigger than the ups and downs of this world. My life perspective is eternal.  I have joy...

I thought I had everything figured out. I thought I did, but apparently not. I was going to be used by God to change the world. Eradicate poverty? Done! Spread the Gospel? You got it! My heart ached for those hurting around the world and I felt strongly that I needed God to use me to stop the hurt. But now? Now I have no idea what God wants of me. Don't worry, God and I are still tight. We chat, He speaks, I listen with my nose scrunched up 'cause I don't really get the big picture, yea we are tight, but man! Figuring out my part in His mission is tough! How can I possibly understand God's mission for the world??? I'm just a little human being! And now I am a  little perplexed one. You see, I had in my head that I was going to go overseas. I was going to help the poor and spread the good news of Jesus Christ and all that good stuff. But then I started studying missions and now I'm starting to think that maybe I am not needed out there. I'm tall, blond, and...

Lesson being learned in Pasadena: Apparently I have no filter. I guess it is a work in progress... On another note: As we all know Monday was that joyous holiday we call Halloween. Seeing as I live in an apartment, I skipped the candy aisle at the grocery store this year, being told by many that I would have no trick-or-treaters coming to my door. But they were wrong. At about 7pm I was on the phone when I heard the doorbell ring. I quickly told my mom I had to go and went to the door, assuming it was my neighbor-friend. As I peeped through the peephole I jumped at the sight that greeted me. It was in fact, not my neighbor-friend, but two small girls. I contemplated pretending I wasn't home, but that was no good, I was sure they had heard me. So I opened the door. "Hi!" I exclaimed. The two girls just stared at me. No "trick-or-treat." No candy bags. Nothing. The smaller of the two was a princess, but her older sister, who was not dressed up at all, was stan...

I just discovered this video/song on a study break. It has such a beautiful message and I wish I could declare this to every person out there who feels inadequate, ashamed, or unworthy. God's love for us is HUGE and 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" Let us rejoice in that today. We are made new by the love of our Savior. Enjoy the video. :) Tenth Avenue North: You Are More

"Funny thing about joy,  is that you only really find it  when you are too busy having fun  to go looking for it."

A great way to spend a Friday evening: We scared a few, hugged a few, and had some fun. Good times at Fuller. :)

So the Grilled Cheese Truck left before we got out of class (sad, I know). We will stalk it down another time I am sure. Class turned out to be really great. My professor, Dr. Van Engen, has this way of telling Bible stories that is as if I am hearing them with new ears. He tells them so passionately and portrays God in such a real way. I am always entranced when he tells these stories. (The class is Biblical Theology of Missions). Last week it was the story of creation and I found my heart truly breaking when he came to the part where Adam and Eve sinned and hid. He portrayed God as truly longing for that friendship with Adam and Eve and being so so distraught when they disappointed Him. I felt so sad that we disappointed God, who loves us so much, enough to create us, and I felt the emotion of the story. I saw the story with new eyes and I heard it with new ears. Tonight we heard the story of Sarah, Hagar, and Abraham, but the story that really struck my heart was that of Elija...

Tonight after my super long class I am heading here: That is right friends, the famous Grilled Cheese truck is going to be a few blocks from campus and I'm going to get a midnight snack (or 10pm snack, but midnight sounds better). I can't wait to try a mac and cheese with pulled pork sandwich. Now if I can only sit through three and a half hours of class without drooling...

This past weekend was tough (even though I had a lot of fun and rest). I really missed home...and Blackbird coffee. I was feeling kind of sad, kind of down. And here is what is weird....today I feel SO happy. Like, really happy. I walked outside this morning and the ground was wet and it smelled like RAIN. Rain! I had to wear a jacket because it was actually chilly, and I had to keep myself from skipping all the way to class. I read a book for FUN, I laughed with my new FRIENDS and I had coffee TWICE. Ok, with that last comment you might think the reason for this enthusiasm is the coffee in my veins, but that is not it! God is just SO faithful. When I get sad it is like He says, "Hey Meredith! Look! Look at all these fun people around you! Look at the rain I brought for you! Hey Meredith, remember when I told you I loved you? And that I would always take care of you? Guess what...I meant it! I really do love you!" Isn't it nice to realize that every little good thing ...

It is 7:41am and I am at work. Yuck. Not yuck to the job, I love my sweet baby, but yuck to being up before the sun rises. I think that should be against the law. I have a confession to make. This past weekend I did not do any schoolwork. I had  a lot of schoolwork to do, but I didn't do it. You know what I did do this weekend? Rested.  I think that we forget the importance of rest, or the Sabbath. Our lives get busy with work, friends, responsibilities, and we think obviously there is no time to rest! Here is the truth:  you do have time to rest.  Now don't start whining that I don't know your life and how busy you are, I do. Things will get done, tasks will be accomplished but if even God rested, then so must we.  I am convinced that rest is essential to mental health. So this weekend I ate frozen yogurt and danced with my friends down the sidewalks of Pasadena. I went on an adventure to Whole Foods and ate a whole lot of samples and then went to a coffee sh...

It has been a good week here in Pasadena. Last night I got to experience a little bit of what heaven will be like. I attended an event at Fuller called Kimbap. Kimbap is a traditional Korean dish, much like sushi. Kimbap the event is an effort to build relationships between the many Korean women and American women here at Fuller. (Fuller has multiple degrees available in Korean.) As the multiple cultures came together we were at first separated by language and nerves. We congregated with who we were comfortable. But then we sang some simple, yet powerful, worship songs together. We sang them through in English and then us Americans struggled along in our newly learned (and primative) Korean to sing in the native language of our new friends. We finished singing the verses each in our native languages. A chorus of English and Korean rose up together to reach the heavens. We were worshipping as one family, crossing barriers of culture and language, singing the same words to our God. It wa...

I hear the Fall is coming to the Southeast, so this post is in honor of Autumn and all the things I love about it. #1 The colorful leaves. #2 The emergence of adorable jackets and sweaters (which I can't afford) And most of all, #3 BOOTS.  But alas, I live in Southern California, so my Fall looks like this: This isn't so bad. :)

My Dearest Georgia, Five years ago I would have never believed that I would say what I am about to say, but, I miss you. You have really nice nature as well as nice weather. I like your Fall colors, and even the amount of camouflage people wear. I like the Southern drawl and the deer, and I like the people that shoot the deer. People might think it is strange to shoot squirrels in your backyard, but we know it is for the greater peace. You also have Christ's Church. I like their wonderful community, and the preacher isn't half bad. I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with you. Maybe it will snow? Ok, probably not, but just being home will be nice. Do you hear that Georgia? I called you home. Now that is something to celebrate. Your friend, Meredith 

Saturday nights are the best, especially when you get to relive your childhood. For example, last night and tonight I got to babysit for two awesome kids, age 5 and 7. Talk about fun. We had a dance party, colored pictures, built a cave, a read some books. Does that not sound ideal?? Best of all, they LOVED my terrible accents. I got to read each page of a ballerina book in a different accent and they thought I was super funny. It was a dream come true. I'm telling you, a Saturday night cannot get better then this.

A snapshot from my journey to California. One of the few amazing views of the drive.