12 Days Post-Op

I've been trying to decide what to write. For a second I thought I might just never write again.

It can be overwhelming when you share stuff.

I had surgery on July 6th, but it feels like yesterday. I'm doing well, but its not that simple.

I wish this was all simple.

Surgery takes a toll on your body, your emotions, your mind. I guess cancer does too.

We got good news- Stage 1, clear margins, benign lymph node- so I am excited about that. Many people aren't as lucky as I am to have caught it early.

But recovery sucks. Having to need help sucks. Bumps in the road suck. It all just kind of sucks.

I try not to complain though. Actually, post-op when I was on tons of morphine in the hospital I repeated three phrases:

"I love my life."

"God is so good."

"I really appreciate you. Thank you for being so good at your job."

Apparently even on heavy drugs I want everyone to know that they are great. I have trouble not trying to care for people, even when a part of my body has just been chopped off.

There is so much more to this. So many stories to tell. So much still to come.

But for now, I will just be thankful that I am healing, be thankful for all my people who have continued to love and support me in this wild year, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

This stuff takes a toll.

But hey, I love my life, God is good, and I really appreciate you.


Comments

  1. Dana PJuly 19, 2018 at 4:27 AM

    You can be completely grateful and still be entirely certain that all of this sucks. A lot. The two states of awareness do not cancel each other out.
    Heal on sister. FWIW, anything less than a year to feel more yourself in this new reality of yours may be expecting too much. Healing is a process, and it's best to let it take all the time it takes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dana PJuly 19, 2018 at 4:31 AM

    ^^^ that's me. Apparently blooger forgot I existed

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sentimental utteringsAugust 24, 2018 at 6:25 AM

    My daughter dealt with breast cancer n treatments when she was 25. Right before her diagnosis her husband admitted to an affair n told her to find an apartment n move out. She was a school teacher in Oahu. Since then, she made it thru treatments, remarried and has a an 8 n 10 year old that she nursed as babies! You will over come this with God's help n blessings. I'm glad I found you. I'll pray for you.

    ReplyDelete

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