The Post About the Date

Dating while in cancer treatment is weird. 

When you have recently had breast cancer it gets even weirder, considering one of the first things you discuss is your boobs. 

See? 

It just got weird. 

My point exactly. 

So when my friends asked if I would be open to being set up with their favorite cousin, I was only cautiously optimistic.

With our busy adult schedules, we planned a date at our friend’s home in San Antonio for a month and a half in the future. A month and a half to worry about all the normal things like, will I even have eyebrows when we meet?

Like I said, dating while in cancer treatment is weird.

So last weekend, just days prior to my final chemo, I put on my cute high-waisted jeans and a funky t-shirt to make me feel cute and wa-la. I was ready.

Except I don’t think I was ready.

I don’t think I was ready for him to find me beautiful, even though I didn’t feel that at all myself.

I don’t think I was ready for him to accept the challenges of my life with such ease and grace, such compassion and understanding.

I don’t think I was ready for him to be so strong and kind, so accepting of my own strength and yet so willing to help care for me.

Needless to say, it was a great weekend.

Needless to say, he is a great man.

When we got back from the weekend I went to final chemo and he went to my apartment to fix my broken antique coffee table. When he sent me a message that he was going to grab some food and head home (to New Mexico), I sent one back that left no doubt as to how horribly chemo was going.

In a split second, he made a decision. Hoping it wouldn’t be weird or too much, without pretense or manipulation, he found his way to the cancer center.

When he walked into the chemo ward, I was in an immense amount of pain. Dizzy and nauseas, I was in and out of a fitful and frightened sleep. My face was scrunched up under the chin strap of my cold cap and I was broken.

So he pulled up a chair.

And he held my hand.

And I held his like it was the last lifeline available to me.

For 2 hours, he sat. He told my mom stories to get her mind off of my pain. He thanked my favorite nurse for being my favorite nurse. He spoke to me calmly but without demeaning me.  

He did not waver. He did not run away.

I was amazed. I never thought dating while in cancer treatment would work. I never thought someone would be able to look past the IVs and the appointments and simply see me.

I know. 

You are swooning. 

So am I.