Home again.

And just like that I am home again, to the big city home that is. Being in Georgia was a wonderful time of connecting with dear friends, spending time with family and people that I love, and getting to enjoy some unexpected adventures. I left exhausted but so happy and so blessed. One of the most exciting things was arriving back in Pasadena late last night. As I drove up to the apartment with my friends here I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. I was elated to feel such joy at being back in Pasadena, as the last year has been full of the ups and downs of any transition. As I reunited with friends here I felt the same happiness and excitement as when I met my friends in Georgia and that meant so much to me. I have finally settled here in Pasadena and I feel like a smile has been plastered on my face all day long!

So I realized that I have added one more home to my list. One more place where there is love and joy, where adventures abound and reuniting is sweet. On Saturday I head to the reservation. I am not unpacked from Georgia and I am not packed for Arizona. I have a lot to do but I know it all will get done. And who knows, I might be adding another place to call home to my list. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Perhaps the Moon will Heal Me

 I wish they would prescribe nature instead of medicine and stars instead of shots. I wish I could gaze upon wildflowers and the cells in my body would be healed. I want to lay in the grass and soak in the sun and be told that I have accomplished all the treatment I need. I want to meet a doctor on a mountaintop and have them say that s'mores and bonfires are the cure for what ails me.  I wish that instead of doctors offices I was prescribed beaches and sand beneath my toes. The answer! (they will shout) is MORE VACATION! The pill! (they will declare) is higher quality chocolate and puppies that lick your toes.  I wish that instead of the smells of saline and surface cleaners I could go to an appointment and be handed a drink in a coconut and be greeted by sunshine and a large man playing the ukulele.  Instead of death, I would see life. Instead of suffering, I would see joy.  I wish that the answer to my problems was to spend more time in the mountains, gaining...
Read more

Oh to Be ALIVE!

Image
 It has been six months since I got the most unexpected diagnosis. It has been six months since cold chills flowed through my body reading the words I dreaded on my tiny telephone screen. It has been six months of tears, of hot showers to try and clear the bad thoughts, of making jokes in doctors offices, and closing my eyes for every blood draw.  It has been six months of explaining sadness to my daughter, of leaning into each other when we could barely stand, and of accepting help, meals, babysitting, and prayers.  It has been the hardest six months of my marriage.  And then, one week ago today, I had my final chemotherapy appointment. 16 rounds of grueling treatment came to an end! Finally, the end of long naps, medications, side effects, coming to know my own face without hair, without eyebrows, without everything I counted on to be seen and known in a certain way.  I have been devastated, afraid, and hopeless. I honestly did not think I was strong enough to...
Read more

Learning to Find Beauty

Image
 The other day Emma saw a man walking down the side of the road. He was obviously homeless or struggling, the sort of person most of us generally fail to notice at all.  "Mommy," she said. "I see a man. By the road."  "Oh yea?" I replied.  And with all the love and compassion that a 2-year-old can muster she said from the back seat,  "Yes. He's beautiful."  _____________ In graduate school I used to go to the Norton Simon art museum and sit for a while in front of one of my favorite paintings. They had a wonderful collection of Monet, Van Gogh, and Renoir, but this one was by an artist I didn't know. It depicted a vagrant, or a homeless man, with some rotten fruit.  It was beautiful.  The painter had taken something that is so often looked over and made it into a masterpiece. I bought a print and hung it in my office for a long time to remind myself to find beauty in the things and people that many only see as problematic or unfixable. I ...
Read more