Sharing the weight
I recently spent 5 days in the great state of California. As much as I love my job, I sat on the plane with a heavy weight on my shoulders, the kind you can actually feel pressing down upon you. The weight was the result of 2 months of work with high risk teenagers, and an innate desire to hand them my life in an attempt to make everything better. I was exhausted, so as I entered into the sunshine of Pasadena, I knew the trip could not have been better timed.
Over the weekend I met with one person after another, sharing my story, my concerns, my woes and my joys. With each meeting, each hour, I was able to hand off some of my burden to those who love me. As I passed the weight from my shoulders, piece by piece, to each person I encountered, I watched as they accepted it and held onto it as their own. It was incredible to be a part of, for by the end of the weekend I felt physically lighter, and a great wealth of happiness and excitement was able to be released from the freedom I had received.
It reminded me of the passage that has been bound to my heart for the last week. In the Meredith translation, Moses is ticked off because everyone is complaining and he feels weighed down by the needs of the people. So he yells at God and says, "Hey! This is crazy! These people are too heavy for me. Just kill me off because I can't handle this." And God loves him, so he listens (and is rather sassy back). He says, "Listen. Go get all the elders, and I will put some of your spirit on them so that they can help you carry your burden."
This is what happened to me in Pasadena. I passed on part of my spirit to all of the lovely people that I call family, and I was able to be released from the oppression of holding it all by myself. As a result, the amazing encouragement and advice and kindness that was given to me was tucked into my spirit and is now resonating in my soul. Its hard to express how much each conversation, hug, and prayer has carried me back to the rez this week, but I can feel everyone walking in this with me. I no longer feel overburdened or unprepared, and have come back to work with a joy and a feeling of great privilege that I had lost before I returned home.
Home. That is what I realized Pasadena is for me now. More than any other place in the world, Pasadena is home. Because God enabled me to begin a life there, and it is now the place where I am surrounded with my own community, with everlasting support, and with a love that reaches past the mountains and all the way into the hills of an Arizona reservation.
Over the weekend I met with one person after another, sharing my story, my concerns, my woes and my joys. With each meeting, each hour, I was able to hand off some of my burden to those who love me. As I passed the weight from my shoulders, piece by piece, to each person I encountered, I watched as they accepted it and held onto it as their own. It was incredible to be a part of, for by the end of the weekend I felt physically lighter, and a great wealth of happiness and excitement was able to be released from the freedom I had received.
It reminded me of the passage that has been bound to my heart for the last week. In the Meredith translation, Moses is ticked off because everyone is complaining and he feels weighed down by the needs of the people. So he yells at God and says, "Hey! This is crazy! These people are too heavy for me. Just kill me off because I can't handle this." And God loves him, so he listens (and is rather sassy back). He says, "Listen. Go get all the elders, and I will put some of your spirit on them so that they can help you carry your burden."
This is what happened to me in Pasadena. I passed on part of my spirit to all of the lovely people that I call family, and I was able to be released from the oppression of holding it all by myself. As a result, the amazing encouragement and advice and kindness that was given to me was tucked into my spirit and is now resonating in my soul. Its hard to express how much each conversation, hug, and prayer has carried me back to the rez this week, but I can feel everyone walking in this with me. I no longer feel overburdened or unprepared, and have come back to work with a joy and a feeling of great privilege that I had lost before I returned home.
Home. That is what I realized Pasadena is for me now. More than any other place in the world, Pasadena is home. Because God enabled me to begin a life there, and it is now the place where I am surrounded with my own community, with everlasting support, and with a love that reaches past the mountains and all the way into the hills of an Arizona reservation.
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