Revealing Grace

At first it was the stability, the predictability that got me. The concrete had nothing on the mountains and streams of Arizona, but the stability took the cake and left me with a longing I hadn't felt in a while. Friends with babies and houses with sofas showed the great divide between my (so utterly) single life and theirs. It is absolute beauty in both seasons , but it is the difference between freedom and tiny kisses, long hikes and quiet storybooks. So different, these seasons, and yet both so fantastic. But again, my heart longed for the stability, the predictability. It longed for the office of a professor, the deadlines and expectations. It longed for cute furniture and babies and a straight path. Though there is nothing else I want to do with my life right now, the rocky nature of the path with my students sometimes leaves me standing in a (proverbial) canyon wondering, is the end really worth it? Is there even an end at all?  That is what I think gets me. The mont

It was with great trepidation that I entered into this summer. 6 short-term teams in less than 3 weeks? What crazy person scheduled that?? (ok, it was partly my own fault, but don't tell anyone I admitted it). And believe me, it was exhausting. I swear it has been 2 weeks since I've seen my house for anything other than flopping into bed with dirty feet and sweaty hair and waking up to fight the roommates for the shower. Its been an adventure. I know that plenty of missionaries have things to say about short-term teams (and not all of them are positive). So as a "long-term" missionary working with "short-term" missionaries, I have had my fair share of opinions. But as these 2.5 weeks end, I have come to a conclusion. Are you ready for it? When done the right way, and with the right attitudes, short-term missions are fantastic. I'll even go ahead and say it. . . I love short-term mission teams. That's right. Gasp, throw out an "I told you

A few months ago I asked God for a picture for one of my students, a girl who I have been walking alongside in her journey to discover Christ. Its a beautiful picture of her worth, and all of our worth even amidst our brokenness.  Perhaps it can speak to you as well. :)  My dear sweet girl, Sometimes when I don’t have words I ask God for a picture. So I prayed on the way home, and this is what I got for you. You are standing out in a field, but you are not fully yourself. Instead of normal skin, your skin has turned into breakable porcelain, like that of a doll or a ceramic pot. You stand there, unable to move, because your skin has become so hard and you have become encased in this ceramic. Your face is sad.  And then Jesus walks up to you. And ever so softly, he begins to touch your arms. And with each touch, though they are gentle and kind, your “skin” begins to break away, like shattering glass, revealing only your tissue and your bones. And tears fall from your e

So many young lives hang in the balance. So many mask the truth of their pain with a tough exterior, a flippant remark, a quiet demeanor. The lie of being alone, of being unchangeable, unredeemable, floats in their minds and tugs at each of their thoughts. It is hard to watch them crumble, to watch them drift away. We invest so much, but there is always so much more to do. We care for them, we fight for them, we shower them with truth and love, and even still, we watch as the pieces of their lives fall and the darkness threatens to overwhelm.  And I worry. I worry about them because I can see the hollowness in their eyes. I can hear the quiet desperation in their voices. And I know that their fragile lives hang so precariously on the edge. I know that one simple thing can make them throw it all away. One thought, one action, one decision.  But in the midst of their pain the answer is so seemingly simple. I hear it in the wind and I feel it in the sun. It is the warmth in my e

If you have been around AYM or Arizona lately, then you would know that things are going great. Our ministry is rocking it, our staff is incredible, and our short term teams have been fantastic. We have been built up with encouragement and love and continually affirmed in the new direction that we are taking the ministry.  When I look at my life personally, I mostly think that things couldn't be better. I love my job, I feel successful at what I am doing and am really pleased with this lifestyle. We hike a lot , something I never thought I was capable of. And an active lifestyle has become something I really don't think that I could live without. But for every encouragement that I have received, every affirmation that has been tucked away in my heart, I struggle with a quiet nagging insecurity . My life is fantastic, but small lies creep in and draw my attention away from our mission to make me feel inadequate. For instance, I recently have become preoccupied with my own b

There is something so special about the bond God has given our AYM team with our students. We all attended Noah’s 8th grade promotion ceremony last week and afterwards were invited to his grandmother’s house for the reception. When we got there the extended family and friends were all present. The grandmother hushed the crowd for the prayer and then, referring to the food line, said, “Now Noah’s family goes first. Noah’s church family.”   Isn't that powerful? What a privilege. What a privilege to be called family for these students. What a privilege that the one who takes care of Noah, an elder in the community (meaning she is to be respected), gave us that kind of honor and respect. What a revelation to realize that we have that kind of place in our students' lives. And what an amazing moment for my team- all non-Native, young, outsiders- to be honored among our student’s true family.  Noah: “Meredith, you are my auntie, right?” (Travis: “Yea! Yea! Me too!)