Revealing Grace

My heart is elsewhere.  It is sitting among the sentinels of corn and among the whispers of the wheat. It is tucked next to a fire in a little house by the plains of the desert. It is on the sacred mountain of a reservation in Arizona. It is scattered among the people I love throughout the country and the world. My body is here, but my heart is elsewhere.  My mind is full.  Full of the mistakes I've made and the problems still left to solve. Full of ghosts and home videos. Stacked the brim with to-do lists and airy dreams for days ahead. My mind needs to focus, but it is already full.  My body is strong.  My heart beats with determination. My brain connects and controls. My arms lift and my legs power through. I may feel like this body belongs to someone else, but this body is strong.  My soul feels stretched.  Stretched between places and people that I love things I want to do and things I need to do guilt and responsibility self-care and

My couch is sitting in the middle of my living room and not in a cute way. It is shoved into the tiny walkway in my 600 square foot apartment because I bought a TRX so that I could work out at home but there isn't any room to use it unless I move the couch. But the couch has nowhere to go. So I'm currently turning sideways and shuffling to get to my kitchen. My dog literally just jumps across the top of furniture because there is no floor space. Speaking of dogs, I just found mine eating the bathroom trash. Seriously. Gross. In other news, I've been sleeping on the other sofa's twin pull-out bed for two weeks. Do I not have a real bed? No, I have a real king-sized bed in the other room, the room I am not using apparently. For a month I was waking up with back pain (the bed is less than three years old), so I moved beds. Now I sleep in the living room. Speaking of sleep, I couldn't tell you the last time I slept a whole night through. In fact, I can remem