Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Art of Coming and Going

Today I drove away from Milledgeville for the last time. It was rather sad. Milledgeville has meant a lot to me. It is where I got out of the funk of moving to Georgia and found a wonderful set of friends. It is where I have made my college memories and where I have transformed into the woman that I am today as I write this. As I was driving down the long country roads to get to my house in Fayetteville I looked in my rearview mirror. When I did I saw the long and winding road I had come from. As I looked ahead of me, I saw the winding road to where I was going. I realized that the drive was parallel to where I am at this point in life. Behind me is a beautiful road that brought me to where I am today, and in front me is a beautiful road full of new possibilities. I don't know where it is leading, but the road ahead is just as beautiful as the road behind me. Georgia College is not gone. The beauty is that these roads are connected.  I take what I have been through and become with me on my journey. With the sadness of leaving comes the joy of coming.

It is a beautiful path, both coming and going.

Another part of today was leaving one home and coming to another. What a blessing to have multiple places to call home. I love being with my family, in my room, and with my memories. God has taken me to so many places, yet I will always have a home base that is ready to welcome me in with open arms. I feel like it will be that way in heaven. We will have called so many places home, but when we get there we will get that sigh of relief. That feeling that this really is home. That we are safe and happy and home. I think it will be amazing.

In other news I am in the process of signing the lease for my new apartment in Pasadena! I got offered the first apartment I asked for which was not expected at all and really showed God's provision. 341 square feet and expensive, but I am excited to have my own little place.

In all, God is good- the ups and the downs. He blessed me with a home at Georgia College, He has brought me home to be with my family, and He is leading me to what I may eventually call home in California.

I think I am becoming a master at coming and going.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Nerves nerves nerves

Ok I'm just going to put this out there. I'm a little bit scared. In my heart of hearts I truly trust in the Lord and His provision, and for this reason I generally have a pretty chill persona when it comes to the adventures of the next few months. But somewhere in there, I am kind of scared. It is so much coming at me so fast. There is so much that has to come together and I feel the pressure. The problem is that little creeping doubt that comes into my mind. The doubt that my Visa will be approved, that I will be able to raise all my support, that I will be able to pay for seminary, and that I will be able to handle missing so much by moving across the country. I'm nervous. And although I think this doubt comes a bit from the enemy, I also think it is ok to be a little nervous. A lot of change is heading my way and a lot is unknown. I am pushing forward with no knowledge of what is to come.

But I'm pushing forward because I know this is God's plan for me. No one said it would be easy. Fun? Yes. Scary? Probably. Prayer is going to be essential throughout the next month, and I would love to have as many people praying for me as possible. Pray for peace and security over the next month. That I would soak up each moment with my family. This is a time for me to learn how essential it is to spend each day on my knees talking to my Father.

 It is going to be a crazy couple of months, but I know it will be worth it. Its good for me to take risks every now and then, even if I am the most risk-averse person alive! I thank the Lord for caring about me enough to challenge me.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3

Monday, June 20, 2011

Life, Love, and Leaving.

"No, life cannot be understood flat on a page. It has to be lived; a person has to get out of his head, has to fall in love, has to memorize poems, has to jump off bridges into rivers, has to stand in an empty desert and whisper sonnets under his breath..."

"And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting, and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?"

"It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
I want to repeat one word for you:
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

-Donald Miller, Introduction to "Through the Painted Desert"

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Start of Something Beautiful

Two weeks ago I was in a bottomless pit of despair (yes, slightly dramatic). It was the kind of place where creepy fish like these live:

It was pretty scary and hopeless. But two weeks later, God has changed everything. I went from no options- no job, no mission opportunities, nothing- to a complete plan within two weeks. I had been praying for a month for the Lord to "open doors." It was all I asked, and that is what He did. Did He open the doors I expected? Nope. Not even close. He opened a door for me to spend a month in India (say what!?) and then He opened the door for me to move to Pasadena, California (seriously!?) to attend Fuller Theological Seminary for the next two years (graduate school, God? I said I would never go!) And here is the thing- I could not be more thrilled.

In fact, I am EXCITED! I am excited for these adventures and I have no doubt that this is exactly where the Lord wanted me. He closed all other doors and led me straight down HIS path, not my own. Needless to say it has been a pretty crazy two weeks.

Thanks to the Lord I am no longer in the bottomless pit of despair. I am now headed to this:

 And this:

That looks a lot better doesn't it?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Revealing Grace

Grace. Its a beautiful thing. Literally.

1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3. favor or good will

 And grace is what my journey will be about. The beauty from the dust.  The pleasing endowment. The grace from my Savior.

All good things that come to me are because of God's grace. It is going to be an exciting journey- will you join me?