Thursday, November 6, 2014

There and Back Again

I spent last weekend cocooned within the comforts of a Maryland farmhouse. It was a restoration for my soul and I slept beneath the covers with complete peace of mind at the end of each lovely day. The days were filled with comfort food and long drives through the rolling hills of the Northeast as I began to breathe out the stress and breathe in the peace of God. It was a beautiful time of reconnecting with the quiet parts of my soul and the carefree fun that is getting lost with a good friend as I escaped the day to day of my normal life and entered into a world so far from my usual.

The brilliant changing colors of Fall and the comforting embrace of farmland lay out before me and I was sublimely happy spending the days exploring new towns, walking in the cold air, and conversing with lovely people. It was a dream of a trip and I woke up each morning feeling entirely blessed for having the chance to escape to the farm.

What made it even more lovely was that I had been there before, though it is now only a quiet memory. I wasn't more than 8-years-old the last time I roamed the hills next to the red barn at the house I stayed in. I was young and carefree with my long blond hair and my habit of wearing Sunday dresses to run around in.

Of all the things I have forgotten from my childhood I have never forgotten that little visit.

The sheep on the hill, the boys running beside me, it has sat quietly in my mind for over a decade. So on Monday morning I found myself standing in the same spot that had produced the memory, reflecting on where God had taken me since I first ran on that little hill- the paths He had reconnected, the unexpected directions, the beautiful blessings. I wondered, in my lively imagination, what that little girl would think of the woman that she has become.

I know it sounds silly, but I almost imagined meeting my little self there, connecting hands as we connected my past with my present, my present with my future. 

And I knew with absolute certainty that my life has been an orchestration of a lovely God, who takes quiet joy in making these connections that we would never even have the capacity to imagine.

As I boarded the plane to return to my normal, so very eager to see "my" kids on the reservation, I found that I was able to breathe in deeply the beauty of the 18 years between those farmhouse visits. What great adventures those years held. What brilliant opportunities for growth and what amazing turns my life has taken. I could not have predicted this path, but I find so much joy in getting to reflect on God's creativity and goodness that these years have contained. 

And all this from standing on a hill by a farmhouse in the autumn wind. :)

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