Thursday, September 17, 2015

Getting Married Last

Planning a wedding. Goodness what a lot of work it is!

I am finally getting married at the ripe old (or young) age of 26 and if you follow this blog you know that the last four years have sometimes been hard. Everyone was getting married, having babies, and it all looked so easy. To add to the noise, in the midst of my boyfriend-less world there was never a lack of young, married, happy people who had some advice for their single friends.

"It will come when you least expect it!" (true)
"If you just stop looking, stop wanting it, he will show up!" (not true)
"When you find the right guy the waiting will have been worth it!" (half true, the waiting still sucked)
"That guy is a Christian. . . date him." (seriously??)

Though the advice was all well-intentioned it wasn't always the most helpful, but much of what my married friends didn't know they were teaching me was extraordinarily useful. Being "married last," I have discovered, is actually one of the best ways to enter marriage. In fact, I would recommend it to almost anyone (although one must be prepared for some awkward solo wedding experiences and 3rd-wheeling with your friends.)

So here are the top three reasons why it is awesome to get married last:

1. You learn a lot about yourself

When I moved to California alone I wanted a husband so bad it consumed me. I actually had to pray to God to help me because I was convinced that if I wasn't alone life would be easier. But God didn't provide a person at that time and so in the midst of being truly on my own, I got the chance to learn about myself. I got to become strong in who I was, in my beliefs, in my self-image and self-worth. Because I had four years after college to improve upon myself and take care of me, I feel like I get to come into marriage as a more complete and confident person. My worth does not rest in Cameron, because I know that I survived just fine without him. I know who I am and to me that is a great gift of getting married last.

2. You learn a lot about marriage

I have watched all my friends get married, and being a very contented third wheel I have gotten to closely walk alongside their marriages. I have learned what I like and don't like, what I admire and what I want to improve upon. I have learned what real marriage looks like, not just the facebook kind. I have learned from friends who just got married and friends who have been married for years. And though I will be nowhere near perfect in my marriage, I am so grateful for my married friends who have who let me walk alongside their marriages and learn from their ups and downs. I've gotten a true picture of how to love well and I am so thankful for that.

3. It is so exciting. 

Guys, I've been waiting since I was 18 to find the love of my life. I have been on my own, I have tried to date the wrong guys, I have loved singleness and I have hated it. I have had adventures and travels and now I get to start a new adventure. And this one is just as scary as traveling to India alone! But no matter what nerves I have, all I can be is thrilled because in God's time He provided the most perfect man for me. And I get to keep him for the rest of my life! He was certainly worth the wait (although I still tell him it would have been nice for him to come a year sooner!) and I am extraordinarily grateful for him because I really do know what life was like without him.

So here we come- a New Year's Eve wedding means I'll start off 2016 with a new husband and a new last name. 
Goodness this is fun!

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