Heading into Chemo 2

Long before I knew I would have to do chemo (or even major surgery), I planned to go visit my brother in Colorado. When the oncologist told me about chemo, she said she wouldn't recommend the trip. My friends told me not to go.

But the truth was, I needed it. Everything about my life in Texas is related to cancer (since this is where that journey started) and I knew I needed a break.

So I packed up my hand sanitizer and my hiking boots and I hopped on a plane.

I wasn't sure, in the time leading up to the trip, that I would be able to hike at all. Fatigue is crazy with chemo and I was just cleared for exercise 2 days before the trip.

But over the course of the weekend, my brother and I hiked 13 miles. We stayed in the mountains at almost 13,000 feet and we conquered mountains like it was our job.

I was amazed at the power still present in my legs. I was surprised by the stamina of my lungs. 
Being in the mountains felt like I was alive again. There were moments on those hikes where I forgot about my anxiety, my chemotherapy, my hair. It felt good to accept a challenge willingly and conquer it expertly. As my brother and I scrambled over uneven rocks and hiked up waterfalls, I gladly accepted the obstacles and the reward of the views.

It made me want to climb bigger, higher, and more challenging mountains. It made me feel in control. 



And then we went to see Jason Mraz at Red Rocks. I've wanted to see him in concert for over 15 years and it did not disappoint. It was called the "Good Vibes" tour and his songs were all about everything being ok, and starting new, being grateful, and breathing in the moment. I definitely shed some tears. It was such a fitting concert for this season of my life. It was such a beautiful experience.

On the trip we also encountered some lovely people. From the woman who sat next to us at the concert to the guy whose parents know our parents, we were met with kindness and unexpected friendship. I was reminded of the good in people, of the sincerity of hospitality, and the resilience of humanity.

So, today, I am two days away from chemo #2. I am tired from yesterday's 6am flight and a full work schedule. But today I am also happy. I am refreshed. I am ready to charge into this next chemo and get it done.

Because today, I know that I am a conqueror.

Shout out to my brother for being a great hiking companion!

Comments

  1. Dana PSeptember 5, 2018 at 11:21 AM

    When I was doing chemo, we had season tickets to the Broadway series in Orlando. I wasn't supposed to be in crowds but I wasn't willing to trade the experience. I remember while watching Rent, almost sobbing in one song that was so beautiful (and about dying young...so also very relevant) and thinking, THIS. Moments like this are why I have to live. Just telling you about it puts me right back in the moment it was so visceral.
    You received the gift of defining moments this week. You will carry those for the rest of your life.
    This. This is why you will fight to live. This is why. Carry it close.

    ReplyDelete

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