Milestones at a Pumpkin Patch

I have to tell you that our little farm town has one of the best pumpkin patches in the country. Run by some friends of ours, it is a treasure trove of joy and fun. For me and Jeff, it has been a stalwart location in our lives each year. 

The first year I went to the local pumpkin patch, Jeff proposed in the corn maze. I was just a month out of active cancer treatment. Just one month from walking into a room full of cancer patients to have a needle stuck into a port on my chest as medicine flowed through my veins to try and cure an aggressive cancer. I thought, at the time, that I was handling it well. Looking back at the videos we took that day, I can now see how worn out I was, how weary, how fragile. You can almost see the pain bubbling right below the surface as I try to be carefree. I look exhausted, yet obviously relieved to have Jeff as my person. On the surface I was smiling and excited, but I can now see an unsteadiness I hadn’t realized was there at the time. Cancer treatment had taken a great toll on my mental and emotional health. 

The next time I went to the pumpkin patch, I went as an employee! How fun a job it was. I drove the grain train and watched as families took pictures and enjoyed a fun outing in a small town. But every time I saw a family take a picture with their little baby, I would fight back tears. We were just a few months into trying to have our own child and I was scared and sad that we still had no guarentee that I would have a baby of my own. The pumpkin patch that year was bittersweet. I was so sad, so hopeful, so desiring of my own baby. 

This year, three years after our engagement, we went to the pumpkin patch with our daughter Emma. I was so excited to take her. As I sat at a picture-taking spot with my baby, I remembered how last year I had cried watching other moms do the exact same thing. This year, I cried again, but with deep gratitude and appreciation for how much changes in a year. I didn't know it would hit me so hard, holding my baby next to a bunch of pumpkins, but in that moment I realized that all my dreams had come true. 

Walking through the corn maze I asked Jeff if he could have ever imagined when he proposed that we would be walking in the same place with our daughter just three years later. It was a future we had only dared to hope for. It was a future that was now our reality. 

As I look back, I am in awe of the healing that has happened since marrying Jeff. Sure, a farm in the middle of nowhere isn’t for everyone, but it was just what the good Lord ordered for me. The rest and rejuvenation in a home full of love, compassion, care, and kindness has done a wonder for me. I feel steady on my feet, able to hold the good and the bad, confident that God is still good. I not only have the kindest husband in the world, but we have a daughter who is as sweet-tempered as her father. Everything is not perfect, but as I look forward I know that this farm has been a saving grace for me. I know that God saw the toll life had taken on me and He knew just what I needed. And I know that I will always love this little pumpkin patch and all that it has meant to my family. 

To Jeff, I have to give my greatest gratitude. He loved me when I was hurting and exhausted. He saw my strength when it was almost gone. He believed in my goodness despite the anger I still carried. He gave me a chance when no one in their right mind should have even said yes to a first date. He has continued to love me and give me grace every single day of our marriage. I don’t know where I would be without you, Jeff. Thank you for never giving up on me.