Lately I've been feeling a little wonky, like in the midst of my work and my mission and my life, I lost who I was. To be honest, I sat back earlier this week and barely recognized myself. My brain has been feeling all jumbled, like too much is in it and nothing can find its place. And the challenges of transitioning into this new life have seem to all come together, leaving me feeling isolated and disoriented.
My view of God has also been wildly challenged, and I am still trying to figure that one out.
And I haven't been able to find the root of it all. Perhaps it is compassion fatigue, perhaps it is trying to sort out all the hard things that surround me, perhaps it is something else entirely. All I know is that I haven't been feeling all that great, all that present, or all that useful.
And then today happened.
Today, the lovely and amazing people of Northridge Christian Church came down to spend some time with me in Whiteriver. This is one of my supporting churches, but MORE than that, they are from my college town, Milledgeville, GA. Simply having people from your hometown makes one feel like they can breathe a little easier. These people get me, they understand where I have come from. And they are just awesome people to be around.
In a place where I have become so jaded to the things around me, they walked in with open hearts and a faith that could move mountains. They embraced the locals (even the drunk ones) like they were a long lost brother or sister. They prayed for the community with passion, and words that struck right to the core of things. They spoke of Jesus with such confidence and faith. They were full of so much joy.
And as I spent the day with them, I gained strength by inviting them into my world and struggles. As I shared with them the issues, the hardship and many aspects of my work, all my scaly layers began to fall off, and the joy and happiness that I remembered having began to shine through again. Their love for this place, for me, for God, restored in me all the hope that I had unwillingly lost. I saw God in them, and it was beautiful because it was God who had known what I needed.
I had needed these lovelies to come in and remind me of His power, His love, His truth, because I had lost sight of it in the midst of trying to walk alongside so many hurts.
I had been trying to navigate a dark and twisty road, and Northridge came in today and gave me a light.
And it was the best day ever.