Saturday, July 12, 2014

Learning to chill, with my girl Martha

Everyone always gives Martha a hard time. You know, Martha whose sister is Mary in the story with Jesus? People love Mary. She sits and listens and doesn't worry. But Martha, man, she should have known better, right? That's JESUS sitting at your house. Chill out.

Everyone gives Martha a hard time. But I'm pretty sure Martha and I kind of get each other. Martha was doing her best. She was trying to serve Jesus by working hard and by worrying about the preparations. Perhaps, like me, she felt that her worry in and of itself was for Jesus. I mean come on, we are trying to do His work and He told us that "the harvest is plenty and the workers are few." So seriously, the workers are meant to be pretty worn out, am I right?

Well, at least that is how Martha and I think. We go go go and do do do, not because we think we are awesome but because we really do love Jesus. A lot. And we are doing what we think He wants. And then one day we are so tired that we see someone else just chillaxing at the feet of Jesus and we yell out, "Hellooooo. Aren't you going to tell them to help me?? Hours in the day Jesus! So much work to do....for you!" (Being tired makes us say things we probably shouldn't.)

And Jesus says, "Hey. Meredith. Meredith, are you listening to me? ONE thing is necessary."

"Umm, Jesus, I get that, but you've got a lot of hurting people here and they need me, I mean us. And so yea, I know I need to make time to sit with you but I'm really exhausted from trying to do my best for you."

I think Jesus shakes His head at me a little bit.

"Meredith. You are anxious and troubled about many things. Hear me. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Come to me and you. will. find. rest. The rest that you are out of? Come. Sit. Chill out. Calm down. One thing is necessary."(Luke 10:38-42 and Matthew 11:28-30)

And maybe Martha and I feel slightly sad as we really listen to what Jesus is saying. Because man, when Jesus sees into your heart and just speaks straight into your soul, its convicting. And I write this broken by the realization that when I reach this point, all I have to give is myself. Not me and Jesus, but just me. Which isn't enough in this ministry. I have been so busy trying to serve Jesus that I have forgotten to just chill out and spend time with Jesus.

And I almost want to delete this post and be like, "naww, that's not true. I'm being dramatic because last week was crazy and I'm still recovering." But it is true! If my life is not centered on spending time with Jesus then it is dramatic and important! I have to stop making excuses that my life and work are sufficient in "being with Jesus." I need to realize that my first priority is waking up every morning, driving out to the lake, and shutting up for a little while. So I can hear. So I can breathe. 

Yea, I feel for Martha. I think we would have been friends. And in the end we would have sat down to coffee and admitted to each other that it would be a process, changing our mindset and learning how to chill out, but that the process would be worth it. Because Jesus loves us crazy do-ers too. And we truly want nothing more than to know Him.

*Shout out to Pastor Ernie for a great sermon on this stuff, from which much of what I have written was inspired.*

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