Sunday, July 20, 2014

On Losing My Mind and Finding (bits of) it Again

Let me tell you. . . lately I've been prone to losing my mind. In 2 weeks I've managed to lose my house key, lose my phone, and today I came back after a few hours out hiking to realize that I'd left the trunk of my car open in the parking lot.

My brain is officially kaput.

To make matters more ridiculous, my phone was lost for three days and it turns out that the whole time it was in the driver's side door of my car. Literally inches from me. (Still no sign of the key.) How does that happen??

And sheer exhaustion makes everything heightened.  To the point that I cried when my pastor asked how I was doing and I just wanted to say, "Hey, don't worry. These aren't real emotions. I'm just. so. tired."

So I lose everything and I can't remember what I am supposed to be doing or where I am going and it all gets a little hazy for about a week.

And I'm telling you, I feel a little crazy and dysfunctional. And like I need a trip to a beach.

But then (thank goodness) I find my phone. And people are encouraging. And I hang out with people I love without being at work or talking about work. And I walk through fields of flowers (and cows) and laugh a lot. And those batteries begin to recharge (both the ones in my phone and in my heart). And I realize that no matter what is thrown at me, there is one thing I know:

I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And no matter what comes along, life is pretty darn close to perfect. And the hard days and the ridiculous times are all worth it because man, life is good. I'm surrounded by good people in a good place with a crazy unpredictable job that I screw up at all the time, but God is in charge and I love it.

I actually had no idea when I moved here that I would fall in love with this place, but the fact is, I have. And I wouldn't trade this life for anything (except I might make a deal for that house key...).

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