Measuring A Future

I'm tired of talking about cancer. I'm tired of fighting cancer. I'm tired of this being a part of my story.

But the fact is, this will always be a part of my life. There are many stages in treatment and in recovery, many milestones. But the rest of my life will forever be different than before this.

I will always have to be wise about what I eat, stay in shape, always have to go to check-ups to make sure the cancer stays away. I will always be looking to markers of one year, five years, ten years cancer free.

I will be looking forward to chemo being done, then my next surgery being over. I will then move to celebrate the end of year-long Herceptin infusions, then the removal of my port. Follow that with five years of hormone treatment before all of this is "over."

Ooof.

But.

But.

I will also be looking forward to celebrating one year at the job that I love. I will look forward to vacations with friends and trips around the world. I will celebrate turning 30, then 35, and 40. I will rejoice in the day I finally meet the man I am meant to spend the rest of my life loving.

I will be pleased with my strong and healthy body. I will nurture any children God decides to place in my care. I will spends holidays with my beloved siblings, parents, cousins, and other family.

I will rejoice in every moment of life I am given. I will relish in the colors that are brighter and the tastes that are richer. I will take this life and I will live it to the fullest and I will take no moment of joy for granted.

Yes, cancer will always be a part of where I've been, of who I have become, but it will not be what defines my happiness. 

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