Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Shadows Prove the Sunshine

There were a few days this week that didn't start out so well. Cranky, worried, whatever, I got out of bed and was mad at the world. But in typical Meredith fashion, by the afternoon everything was fine. Seated with my students quietly reading books, trying out yoga with them in the backyard, picking apples together, each day ended with a sigh of exhaustion and happiness. As always, by the end of the day I was thrilled with the greatness of my life.

But most great writers write in the midst of emotion. When the world seems to be crashing down or the problems seem their greatest, that is when a writer sits down and lets it all pour out onto paper (or virtual paper in the blog world). That is what is interesting to read and what people can relate to. And it isn't the norm or even the majority, but simply the processing and the healing that comes when emotions become words and thoughts become paragraphs.

So sometimes I write in the mornings when life doesn't seem so great. And sometimes I write in the evenings, when I sit around and baffle at how I could possibly deserve such a sweet life. You never know what you are going to get.

I think that sometimes when people read the "morning" posts on this blog they worry about me more than they should. They worry that I am sad, frustrated, or even a bit depressed. But I want to put your minds at ease. That is most definitely not the case. When I started working on the rez I wanted this blog to be real. I wanted to show the readers that one does not have to be perfect or have it all together to be a missionary. The goal was to invite people into the good, the bad, and the ugly of being on the mission field so that the glory of it disappeared. I wanted the reader to be left with the realization that they too could do exactly what I am doing. The goal was to put all the struggles and joys down on this virtual paper and invite you to a true understanding of life on the rez.

So I do include posts about the sacrifices and the hard days. But those days aren't every day. They are fleeting moments in the midst of a great life. As Switchfoot so wisely puts it, the shadows prove the sunshine. The moments of uncertainty, the questions of sacrifice, and the really really hard bits of this job make God's brilliance even greater. He shines far brighter than anything else, and each moment brings me closer to understanding His glory and His goodness.

I love my life, my job, my kids, and my weird little family here on this mountain. And yea, some days are hard, but I never question that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I never question that God put me on a journey 3 years ago that led me right here to this mountain in Arizona.

And I never ever lose the joy for His work here. . . even if I do have a bad morning or two. 

No comments:

Post a Comment