It Feels Good to Feel Good

This morning I woke up and it was if a dark fog had lifted.

My spirits were high, I had energy (not my normal amount but a LOT more than this past week), and I felt. . . dare I say it? I felt joy. 

 For 7 days, I was struggling to find myself in the haze of steroids and chemotherapy drugs. For 7 days,  I was feeling just absolutely awful. I couldn't clean my house, walk my dog, or do much more than show up at work. For 7 days, I have eaten toast and eggs and suffered terrible stomach aches if I tried anything else.

For 7 days, I have been miserable. And then today. . . I woke up with joy.

I walked my dog all the way around the apartment complex.

I ran more than one errand and didn't get tired

My cashier at Trader Joes turned out to have just finished chemo with my same oncologist. She used the cold cap and everything and looked great. She handed me her number along with my frozen potatoes and told me I would be just fine.

I went to grab a book at Barnes and Noble and it was the only copy on the Buy 2 Get 1 Free table. I came home with five new books cradled in my arms. Books are basically chocolate for my soul and I probably walked into my apartment looking like I had just won the lottery.

And do you know what else happened this morning? My friend Margaret texted me that she wanted to bring me breakfast.

She ended up running one of my errands for the day and popped over to the local bagel shop for me. She walked in with a dozen bagels, slathered one with peanut butter for me, and washed my dishes. Do you know how amazing that was? Time with a friend and her acts of service made me feel like I was floating a few inches above the floor, no longer weighed down by the tasks that surrounded me.

(Side note: This is perfect way to reach out to a friend in need. Don't ask if they need "anything." Be specific, as in "I want to bring you breakfast this morning. What can I get you?" This takes off a lot of pressure and is an absolutely beautiful way to help.) 

 And finally, I found myself having a dance party in my kitchen. Can you believe it? After a week of feeling too sad and tired and sick to even walk around my apartment, on day 8 I was able to dance with joy around my kitchen.

You guys, it feels so good to feel good. It feels so good to be myself again. And I know (I know) that I have five more weeks of misery ahead of me. But from this point forward, I know that on day 8, the sun will shine again, the clouds will lift, and the bounce will be back in my step.

I am still not in perfect health, but I have turned a corner and I can feel my body and soul improving.

Even the toast and eggs tasted like heaven this afternoon.

And that? That is saying something.

*Thank you for the many prayers, notes, and good wishes as I go through chemo. They absolutely keep me above water on the hard days! I am so grateful for my warrior tribe!!*

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 27, 2018 at 10:03 AM

    Oh Mert! This brings me such joy too!! Praise the Lord for His kindness. There may be weeping in the evening but joy comes in the morning!

    ReplyDelete

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