Wednesday, August 1, 2012

A stream of consciousness writing that may not be worth reading

There are a lot of things going through my head that I thought I would write about today. I penned a beautiful piece on the mixture of cultures and religions at the Sunrise Dance preparation I went to yesterday, but maybe that will show up later. I thought about writing about the joys of spending time in encouragement, bible study, and prayer with three of my teenage girls yesterday, and that probably will play a part in this post because it is important, but there is a lot on my mind. Or maybe nothing on my mind, who knows. I think I might just type and see where we end up at the bottom of the page.

It seems to me that there are so many things in this life vying for our attention. When we don't have a boyfriend we spend time dreaming about it, when we do have a boyfriend we spend time fretting over if this is really what we wanted after all. We spend time in work and then we have to think about spending time in rest. Then when we are resting we just think about all the other things we could be doing. School starts soon and instead of thinking about today we think about what will come after school and how to get there (maybe that one is just me). At any rate, there are so many things going through my head sometimes that I cannot just enjoy the day I have, the moment that is now. Today I baked a pie, organized my suitcase, and read a bunch of articles online about what it means to be a man, to be a woman, to be single...I read a lot. And I think about my life and my blessings, and then I think about my three girls I met with yesterday. I want them to go through high school looking towards the future, but also being content with where they are now. I want them to be content but not too content because I want them to strive for something more. I want them to love God enough to sacrifice friendships and popularity for Him. I want them to be unified and I want them to love each other.

And as all of these things swirl around in my head I have to stop because my pie is out of the oven and if I don't stop swirling I might just stick my face in it and eat the whole thing. Yes, I may be having trouble deciphering what God wants from me but maybe I just need to calm down. Maybe I just need to  talk to Him more and stop trying to decipher what in my head is the answer. What if I just loved on my girls for the next two weeks, prayed for this ministry I am working with, and baked a few more pies? I think things would be pretty good, because we aren't going to have all the answers and we are going to make mistakes, but if I love God and love my neighbor I think life will turn out just fine.

So that is my ramble. I don't really know if I got anywhere with it or figured anything out but that is what came out of my fingers on the keys and I think I will just leave it there. God is good, pie is good, and life is good. Who cares what comes tomorrow because today is blessed and I am happy to be given another day. And yesterday I got to pray with three beautiful girls who have the potential to bring change their generation on the rez because God is moving in their lives and they are listening. And I get to be a part of it. I would say that in the scheme of things, there is really nothing to fret about at all. 

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