Wednesday, August 15, 2012

From Cliffs to Concrete

So I am back. I went from cliffs to concrete and rez to riches. It is quite the adjustment. As I left the reservation the other day I cried for quite a few miles. It was the good kind of tears though, for I was sad to leave because the rez had become another home for me. I grew to love my teenagers there, my Apache family, and my ministry family. They changed my life as any experience does, and driving back into Pasadena I already longed to be back with them. It is that desire to be in two (or more) places at once that becomes commonplace when so many places have impacted one's life. At the same time I am very happy to be back in Pasadena. When the elevator door opened to my floor it smelled like Fuller and all the memories of my year here came flooding into my mind and the smile returned to my face. I was tired after the long drive but waiting here for me were wonderful friends, frozen yogurt, and the anticipation of my second year here at Fuller.

It is hard to reconcile my head and my heart right now as I return to the city. My heart still aches for the pain and hardships on the reservation and my head cannot just push what I now know and have seen to the back of my thoughts. As I return to my huge closet and nice things I feel so utterly middle class and my own room provides a sort of culture shock. How do I live this life knowing what I know about the reservation? How do I reconcile the life I led this summer with the life I lead here? Being on the reservation has changed me in ways that will be so beneficial to the rest of my studies here at Fuller, but how does one do life when they left their heart in the hills of Arizona?

Praise God that He has the answers and will use this summer to form me and mold me as He prepares me for what is next. What I do know is this, I have been blessed with experiences beyond what I deserve and I would not have traded this summer for the world. Thank you for praying for me, for walking with me through my thoughts and struggles, and for being a part of each leg of my journey!

Now, let's see what kind of adventures this year will hold :) 

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