There are things I cannot express to you in words. It is so much bigger than mere words, this thing that I am feeling. Its called joy.
Joy. mmm, joy.
More than happiness, so much more. You know how I know that this is different? Because my life isn't peachy. Not every day is a good day. I have bad days and moments. I am sad and sometimes I am homesick. I'm grumpy! But this thing, this joy, it pervades all of this. Its bigger than just being happy.
It comes from God. My loving Savior. It comes from my walks with Him through the garden. It comes from my family. It comes from my bigger family! In Virginia, Georgia, California, Spain, India, my family that loves me! It overcomes sadness and hardship and frustration. It is this feeling that even in the midst of the lows, that everything will be fine. This reassurance in my soul that I have no need for worry. My life is bigger than the ups and downs of this world. My life perspective is eternal.
I have joy.
Deep down in the depths of my soul I am free and I am in love. With my Savior, with His grace and mercy, with the undeserved blessings. I am in love with the ups AND the downs because my God reigns. My God reigns and my God loves me. Oh I know, I write about this all the time. But it is because I can never get over it. GOD loves me.
Do you get this? GOD LOVES US. What? Me? No, no way, I mess up way too much. HE LOVES YOU. Me? Noo, I walked away from Him a long time ago. HE LOVES YOU. Me, no way, I have disobeyed Him too many times. HE LOVES YOU.
And HE brings joy.
"Now sings my soul my Savior God to thee, how great thou art! How great thou art!"
Joy, it's kind of wonderful.