I love to plan. Some might call it obsessive but I just call it good sense. It is what I do when I get nervous, or when I am anticipating something. I plan when I am bored and I plan when I want to distract myself. I love to plan because to plan is to dream and to plan is to be sure of something..or at least give myself the allusion of certainty.
But I am pretty sure that every time I take out that pen and paper God starts to smile as He shakes His head with a good natured shake. He knew I would turn out this way, and He knows almost all of those lists and plans will get tossed in the trash or lost. He knows that my plans have nothing to do with His plans, and I am sure He laughs softly because He knows His plans are so much better than mine. Like a father, He relishes in the excitement that will register on my face when HIS plans come into play.
But in the meantime, as I scribble furiously on paper, as I daydream and plan, He lets me have my moment. He gives me that knowing look as I take a moment to chew on my pencil and look up at Him. But I just crinkle my eyebrows and shake my own head. Secretly I know the truth, though I don't want to admit it. I know that what He really wants is for me to stop writing and thinking and to start walking. I know that one day I will look up from my plans and realize that He has led me over this trail of scrunched up paper and long discarded daydreams and brought me to a destination I never saw coming. A destination that was better than anything I could have ever imagined.