Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Living the Brownie Girl Scout Dream

implode  (ɪmˈpləʊd)
— vb collapse or cause to collapse inwards
in a violent manner as a result of external pressure:
 the vacuum flask imploded to pronounce (a consonant) with or by implosion

Do you ever have times when the world around you seems to implode? When things seem to collapse inward, even though on the outside it seems that everything is fine? I would say that using the word implode is a little drastic for what I am feeling these days, but I like the sense of the word (and I am a big fan of using good vocabulary). The pressure of life becomes so much that it seems that everything just caves in, and once it implodes, it seems almost impossible to put the pieces back together.

A new and dear friend just brought me lunch to work, and she asked me how things had been since Christmas. Judging her as a good person, I told her the truth. Things have been hard. I sorely miss all the parts of my life I had last year, my friends and family, my status and my positions at Georgia College.

As I told her about the state of my heart, I was sure she would just say something kind and generic as most people do, such as, "yes, that's hard. It will get better!" Which really, when you think about it, is not very helpful. But alas, I have found someone who understands. Praise the Lord!

She explained to me that it is ok to mourn the loss of these things. Heck, I have just gone from being well-known and connected on a college campus for four years to moving by myself to a place where I know no one and no one knows me. So it is ok for me to mourn the loss of these things that made me who I was in Georgia. But at the same time, I have to realize the blessings God has bestowed on me to replace these things.

Now, hold up, don't worry. Most of my readers are in Georgia, and I am sure you are almost to tears (not really) because you think I am about to write about replacing you. No such nonsense. I like to live my life by the Brownie Girl Scout song, "Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold." You can choose if you are silver or gold, one is more fashionable and one is more expensive. Anyways, I digress.

My dear new friend made many great points, but she helped me see that it is ok to mourn the things we lose in the midst of change. At the same time I cannot sit in mourning and never come out. I must step up and breathe the polluted new air and realize that God is blessing me. It may be different, it may be hard, but He never promised it would be easy. And I must say, the past few hours with my new friend made my heart feel quite like the old heart again. 

1 comment:

  1. ...don't are who you are...because of who you were...i don't think you are imploding inside...the Spirit is just rearranging somethings inside your mind and heart...think about what He has just done...not taken a single thing (or person) away...just made space for a new He made space in her heart for you...and...our Lord is...after all... a builder...that word carpenter is such a good one isn't it...i love you elaine cc/ww